244 Comedians Quotes for You to Enjoy

In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. Paul Merton

There are so many really good comedians, and I would never be as good as they are. It's not my calling. Paul Rudd

Good Would Never Comedians Calling Really Many

I'm a comedian. Comedians are supposed to be jaded, cynical, angry people. But I'm not: I'm a silly, silly fun boy. Pete Holmes

Angry People Cynical Silly Supposed Comedian Comedians Boy Jaded Fun

Roseanne was a huge groundbreaking comedian. Margaret Cho. Ellen DeGeneres, and then on 'Saturday Night Live,' the era of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler sort of helped to bring in an awareness of a new generation of women comedians, often women who were feminist in their comedy, who were unafraid - and this came from the genre of show that was emerging. Rebecca Traister

Generation Women Comedy Live Awareness Ellen Unafraid Emerging New Comedian Comedians Genre Sort New Generation Era Feminist Came Were Huge Tina Tina Fey Often Fey Then Show Who Helped Saturday Margaret Saturday Night Saturday Night Live Bring Night Amy

All comedians have to use their physicality, so I use my size. Rebel Wilson

Physicality Comedians Size Use

All the people I looked up to - Roseanne, Tim Allen, and Jerry Seinfeld - were stand-up comedians who used humor to get TV shows. I'm on TV now, and I'm working towards getting my own show. Retta

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. Rita Rudner

Try Thought Singing Field Too Dancing Logic Had Comedians Well Female Were Than Fewer Which Might Acting Many Competitors

I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. Rita Rudner

Love Writing Comedy Try Thought Singing Field Too Dancing Out Logic Had Comedians Well Female Real Were Real Love Than Fewer Which Might Acting Many Found Competitors

Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo? Rob Delaney

Funny Jokes Old Clever Favorite TV Telling TV Shows About Shampoo Particular Comedians Talking Years Brand Capable Certainly Who Shows

When I started, there was no comedy community, no comedy industry; there were comedians. Robert Klein

Comedy Community Comedians Industry Were Started

It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians. Robert Webb

Scared Some Comedians Because Odd Very Actor

Basically I try not to knock other comedians. Robert Webb

Try Other Knock Comedians Basically

Only comedians can talk about death, life, God and Virgin Mary. If I was a tragic actor, I couldn't allow myself. But with this accent I can do it. I can talk with death in person because I am a clown. Yes. And I am proud to be a clown - very much. Roberto Benigni

From the point of view of being in the public radar, comedians have less problems than other actors. Action movie stars like Stallone or Schwarzenegger usually attract the more aggressive fans. Robin Williams

Problems Fans Aggressive Action Stars Other More Point Point Of View Like Attract Comedians Schwarzenegger Than Being Movie Movie Stars Public View Radar Less Action Movie Actor

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy. Ron White

Pet Other Guess Criticizing Guy Cable Comedians Biggest Larry

Most Scots might be able to identify six vegetables - but only two MSPs. There are parts of Scotland where you rarely get more than 40% turnout at the polls. There's a big disconnect there, and I think comedians bridge that gap. Rory Bremner

You Vegetables Big Think Able Rarely More Only Most Comedians Identify Parts Disconnect Scotland Than Get Six Where Polls Might Turnout Bridge Gap Two

When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying. Roseanne Barr

Funny Saying Me Out Tell TV All-Out He Comedian Comedians Himself Were Wanted Subtext Laid Used Dad Watch

Comedians have to write to survive because you don't get cast for your beauty. Sally Phillips

You Beauty Cast Write Comedians Because Survive Get To Survive Your

I try to tweet, but I still haven't gotten into the rhythm as much as some people who have, like, 20,000 tweets. There are some great comedians on there, so you get some pretty funny hot takes and bits. Sam Richardson

I was always the class clown; I made my family laugh, and that was when I was always happiest. I grew up listening to stand-up comedians' albums and watching them on TV, on 'The Tonight Show' and Letterman. Sarah Silverman

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