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Paul Merton Quotes
Paul Merton Quotes
Paul Merton
British
Comedian
Born:
Jul 9
,
1957
About
Comedy
First
Me
People
You
Related authors:
Alexei Sayle
Eddie Izzard
Eric Morecambe
Jack Whitehall
John Oliver
Stephen Fry
Tim Vine
Tommy Cooper
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
Paul Merton
Life
You
School Days
School
My Life
Past
Indication
Some
Give
Misery
Over
Days
Were
Years
Endured
Which
Happiest
Should
Twenty-Five
The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.
Paul Merton
You
People
Listening
Other
Say
People Say
About
Hear
Improvisation
Thing
And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.
Paul Merton
Old
Laugh
Stereotype
Like
Overcame
Making
Friends
Shyness
I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?
Paul Merton
Funny
Nature
Age
Remember
Comedy
Very
Being
Fascinated
Why
When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.
Paul Merton
Time
History
Comedy
Listening
Reading
Nine
Humour
Books
Spent
About
My Time
Previous
Generations
Reading Books
Lot
Time Reading
The History Of
All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.
Paul Merton
Talent
Disc
Without
Stand
I read every book about Buster Keaton and Chaplin to see how they worked - it's all about dedication, tunnel vision, pursuit of perfection, getting the gag right.
Paul Merton
Book
Vision
Dedication
Every
Chaplin
See
About
Pursuit
Perfection
Read
How
Getting
Gag
Tunnel
Tunnel Vision
Worked
Keaton
Buster
Right
There's something magical about film, it's the ultimate for me, because it's kind of permanent - inasmuch as anything is. When I went to see Buster Keaton when I was about 14 and I came out of the cinema having really laughed at this film which had been made 50 years before, I thought: That's immortality. It's fantastic.
Paul Merton
Me
Cinema
Thought
Made
Before
Laughed
Out
Kind
Immortality
See
About
Magical
Something
Having
Had
Because
Permanent
Came
Ultimate
Been
Years
Anything
Which
Fantastic
Inasmuch
Really
Keaton
Buster
Film
When things are difficult, awful, stressful, the thing that always gets you through is a sense of humour. I don't mean - well, maybe I do - laugh at the hangman as he puts the noose around your neck. But an eye, an ear, for the ridiculous, the absurd in life, can get you through a lot.
Paul Merton
Life
You
Sense
Difficult
Humour
Laugh
Eye
Through
He
Puts
Absurd
Well
Around
Always
Lot
Get
Gets
Hangman
Maybe
Mean
Your
Ridiculous
Awful
Thing
Things
Ear
Neck
Stressful
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'.
Paul Merton
Day
Me
You
Mind
First
Guy
Park
He
Knew
New
Him
Said
York
New York
Where
Central
Central Park
Asked
Mug
Here
Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.
Paul Merton
Myself
Rich
Allowed
Obviously
Call
Because
Am
Very
Working-Class
Now
I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.
Paul Merton
Comedy
Take
Contemporary
Any
Interest
Really
I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.
Paul Merton
First
Politicians
Invested
Never
Disappointed
First Place
Been
Place
Them
Much
I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.
Paul Merton
Good
Think
Having
Outsider
Comedian
Interesting
Viewpoint
In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.
Paul Merton
Fear
Comedy
Fact
Contemporary
Lot
Being
In Fact
Influenced
Watch
When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.
Paul Merton
Funny
Jokes
About
Remembering
Being
Realised
Being Funny
Them
Turned
Creating
In 1986, I was attacked in the street as I helped Neil Mullarkey from the Comedy Store Players to put up posters. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time - midnight - and we were English. I got kicked in the head.
Paul Merton
Time
Comedy
Wrong Time
Kicked
Neil
Posters
Attacked
Put
Head
Wrong
Wrong Place
Got
Were
Up
Store
Place
Midnight
English
Helped
Street
Players
In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.
Paul Merton
First
Took
Later
One-Man
Some
Tripped
Trousers
Part
Over
Days
Comedians
Couple
Fellow
Edinburgh
Diagnosed
Sound
Doing
Heard
Leg
Cracking
Show
Maybe there's a perception of me as grumpy old bugger who suffers from depression. It's a total misconception. I don't think of myself as any grumpier than the next person. I'm not even grumpy first thing in the morning.
Paul Merton
Depression
Myself
Morning
Me
Old
Perception
First
Think
Total
Misconception
First Thing
Than
Person
Any
Maybe
Next
Who
Even
Suffers
Thing
Grumpy
Generally speaking, politicians are an odd bunch. They seem to have very thick skins and genuinely don't care what people think. And charm is a very important part of the politician's armoury. I try to resist that kind of charm.
Paul Merton
People
Try
Care
Important
Politician
Politicians
Think
Kind
Seem
Charm
Generally
Part
Important Part
Genuinely
Odd
Very
Bunch
Speaking
Skins
Thick
Resist
When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous.
Paul Merton
Daily
Eat
Ten
Guys
Marvellous
Edinburgh
Fresh
Selling
Bunch
Festival
Used
I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.
Paul Merton
Experience
School
Thought
First
Potato
Never
Never Forget
Over
Over It
Got
Forget
Getting
If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.
Paul Merton
Work
You
People
Laughter
Cheating
Circuit
Laugh
Had
Comedian
Make
Became
Canned
In a psychiatric hospital, a lot of people believe that people on TV are talking to them directly through the screen. I'm with about 500 of these people, and I'm on TV every Friday night. As I was queuing up for breakfast one morning, one guy nearly jumped out of his skin. My first thought was to go 'Woooo!'
Paul Merton
Morning
People
Thought
First
Breakfast
Skin
Believe
Every
One Morning
Out
TV
About
Guy
Directly
Through
Hospital
Talking
Go
His
Friday
Friday Night
Lot
Up
Psychiatric
Screen
Them
Nearly
Night
I was never one to go up to someone as a five- or six-year-old and say, 'Hello, my name's Paul, will you be my friend?' But I found if I did an impression of the PE teacher or whatever and people laughed, then they did like me, and so then they started talking to me, rather than me making the initial overture and then maybe being rebuffed.
Paul Merton
Teacher
Me
You
People
Will
Whatever
Say
Laughed
My Friend
Someone
Rather
Never
Name
Like
Talking
Making
Go
Friend
Impression
Up
Five
Than
Did
Maybe
Being
Paul
Then
Hello
Initial
Found
Started
It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection.
Paul Merton
Good
You
People
Young
Sense
Way
Laugh
Seems
Good Way
Instant
Performer
Like
Make
Because
Does
Making
Friends
Contradiction
Person
Who
Connection
Actually
Shy
Shy Person
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