27 Gag Quotes for You to Enjoy

If we can but tear the blindfold of self-deception from our eyes and loosen the gag of self-denial from our voices, we can restore our country to greatness. Theodore C. Sorensen

Eyes Country Our Restore Voices Self-Deception Self-Denial Loosen Greatness Gag Tear

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer. David Mamet

Politics About Guy Writer Gag Ask

My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh. Jim Davis

Life World Everyone Laugh Dream Write Makes Gag

Right before the Bush inauguration, many women were greatly reassured when Laura said of Roe v. Wade on the 'Today' show, 'No, I don't think it should be overturned.' Three days later, her husband reimposed the 'global gag rule' on groups abroad that receive U.S. funding for family planning. Molly Ivins

Today Family Women Family Planning Husband Three Before Think Later Rule Laura Abroad Days Global Said Wade Were Greatly Roe Gag Bush Inauguration Should Planning Show Many Reassured Groups Her Right Receive Funding

I thought Twitter was a joke. I really thought it was a gag. I thought it was like National Lampoon or the Onion. Walter Becker

Thought Joke National Twitter Onion Like Gag Really

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag. Adrian Edmondson

Saying Good People Pretending Childish Doubting Rubbish Beneath Humour About Written Lot Effectiveness Gag Them Really Toilet

When I eat cilantro, it's like someone sprayed perfume down my throat. It closes up my throat, even if there's only a little piece. I like Mexican food, and I'll go out to a Mexican restaurant and tell them, 'Look, I will die if you get cilantro in my food.' Then there's always that one little piece that falls in, and I gag. Amber Rose

Food You Will Down Out Tell Restaurant Eat Someone Only Throat Like Perfume Look Piece Always Go Falls Mexican Up Get Die Closes Gag Little Them Then Little Piece Even

To my family and friends, I'm very definitely a clown. But do you know what? Doing a drama would almost seem easy because I wouldn't need to find that gag in a line. Ashley Jensen

Being a talented artist is good, it's nice, but it's not the most important thing. I think being a good storyteller, having a good idea, a good gag, is probably more important than being a great artist. Bill Plympton

I enjoyed doing the gag covers better than the story ones because they were usually simpler. A cover based on an incident in the plot took a great deal of staging to tell a little story that was still part of the book. And it had to make sense on its own. Carl Barks

Great Book Better Great Deal Own Sense Took Plot Tell Simpler Had Part Make Because Deal Still Doing Cover Were Covers Than Gag Staging Story Little Incident Based Enjoyed

I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point, I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future. Charlie Sheen

I don't like sweet, warm beverages. It makes me gag! Darci Lynne Farmer

Me Sweet Like Makes Gag Warm

And there is no finer moment, when I sit in a screening, and the parents and the kids are all laughing at the same gag. Genndy Tartakovsky

Parents Sit Kids Laughing Finer Same Screening Gag Moment

There is that stereotype of a nerd with the high pants and pocket protector and that kind of thing. That can sustain comedy for maybe a movie - hence the 'Revenge of the Nerds' franchise - but not for hopefully years on the air. It's a sight gag, not a story. Johnny Galecki

I honestly do feel - and I hope I don't gag anybody if they read this - but I feel like I'm one of the luckiest people in the world. Jonathan Banks

Hope People World Honestly Feel Like Read Anybody Gag Luckiest

Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell. Michael Caine

You Business Waiting Comedy Job Live Appropriate Tell Nerve-Racking Wings Writers Between Come Most Hand Off Very Done Gag Much Show Show Business Ever Oscars Presenting