Tim Vine Quotes

Tim Vine
Tim Vine
British Comedian
Born: Mar 4, 1967
Day He Just Me People You
Related authors: Alexei Sayle Eddie Izzard Eric Morecambe Jack Whitehall John Oliver Stephen Fry Tommy Cooper Tracey Ullman
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Family People World Older Think Colin Must Brother Five Either Chinese Them Younger Younger Brother Apparently Older Brother Dad Mum
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice. Tim Vine
Today Me You Somebody Nice Fine Parking Driving Know Said Left Little Note Actually
Black beauty - he's a dark horse. Tim Vine
Dark Black Beauty Horse He
I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy. Tim Vine
Day Past Other Bit Sea Meat Loads
For one thing, I don't pun excessively in real life. Tim Vine
Life Real Life Pun One Thing Excess Real Thing
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' Tim Vine
Great Me You World Car Says Give Give Me Lift Look Sure Said Go Go For It Bloke Getting Your
So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.' Tim Vine
You Swimming Local Baths Rang He Calling Said Up Depends Where
I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down. Tim Vine
History Book Reading Down Put Glue The History Of
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red. Tim Vine
Me Restaurant Red Duck Came Up Chinese
I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. Tim Vine
Love Myself You Suitcase Tell More Small More Than Anything Contain Doing Than Trying Anything Pack Hardly
My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul. Tim Vine
You Soul Teenager Elvis Say Bit Signed Kind About Hutch David Pictures Like House Got Bedroom Lot Up Wall Hanging Your
Velcro: what a rip-off. Tim Vine
Rip-Off Velcro
I love acting, but it's all just a bonus. Tim Vine
Love Bonus Just Acting
One of the things I like about when I tour sometimes is that occasionally you'll see a dad there with his 12-year-old son and they're both enjoying it. Tim Vine
You Son Sometimes One Of The Things See About Both Tour Like Occasionally His Dad Things Enjoying
Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is. Tim Vine
Comedy Else Range More Qualified Talk Styles Covers Than Any Different Anyone Anyone Else Them Really Different Styles Wide Wide Range
My DVD cellophane was put on by a psychiatrist. It was shrink-wrapped. Tim Vine
Put Psychiatrist
As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing. Tim Vine
You Writing Important Older Able Access Comic Still Get Childlike Sensible Thing

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