Pete Holmes Quotes

Pete Holmes
American Comedian
Born: Mar 30, 1979
Good Love Me People Think You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
I'm down with Jesus, sweet Jeez, sweet baby Jeez. Pete Holmes
Sweet Down Baby Jesus
Audiences sometimes emit these weird frequencies that make you think you've weirded them out. Pete Holmes
You Sometimes Think Out Weird Make Audiences Them
Joy is in learning to say yes to what is and to surrender into flow with what is, even when it's what you don't want. Pete Holmes
You Surrender Learning Joy Say Yes Want Even Flow
I disagree with the idea that everything happens for a reason. Pete Holmes
Disagree Everything Idea Happens Reason
In real life, T. J. Miller is one of my best friends, and I'll maybe see him for two or three days in a row, and then I won't see him for four months. That's just how our lives are. Pete Holmes
Life Best Three Real Life Our Months Our Lives See Days Him How Real Friends Maybe Just Then Lives Miller Row Four Two
The beautiful thing about stand-up advice is that it applies to anybody, any gender, any race, any age. The best thing you can do - everybody will tell you - is get on stage as much as you can. I would add to that: get on stage as much as you can - with the people you admire. Pete Holmes
Beautiful Best You Age People Will Gender Advice Stage Add Everybody Tell Would Admire About Beautiful Thing Get Any Anybody Race Much Thing
Losing your faith is an essential part of having a three-dimensional, vivid, vibrant faith. Pete Holmes
Faith Losing Vivid Three-Dimensional Having Part Essential Essential Part Vibrant Your
I'm super happy to say that it's not that hard to write bad stand-up. I guess the trick is to write bad stand-up that sounds like you're trying to be good. Pete Holmes
Good You Happy Guess Say Trick Bad Super Write Like Sounds Trying Hard
So we have the story of who we are. I'm a man, and I'm a comedian, and I'm a tall man. I have big teeth and all these things, and I like the first two Batman movies, and I don't drink coffee, or whatever it is. Pete Holmes
Man Coffee First Big Whatever Teeth Batman Drink Drink Coffee Like Comedian Tall Story Movies Who Things Two
I needed to let go of the idea of a God who was mad at me for feeling how I was feeling. Now, I bask in an understanding of the divine that delights in truth and the complexities of the human experience - even when it's not very 'clean.' Pete Holmes
Truth God Me Experience Feeling Understanding Complexities Mad Clean Delights Divine Idea How Go Very Human Human Experience Who Even Let Go Now Needed
We can give space to someone's depression. We can love them; we can honor - we can just eat some noodles, we can watch some movies, whatever it is. We can just sit and not talk. That's real stuff. It's a real - I don't know if you call it a disorder, a disease, but it's happening, and we don't need to coach people through with ideologies. Pete Holmes
Love Depression You People Space Honor Sit Whatever Eat Some Someone Give Through Stuff Know Talk Call Ideologies Real Noodles Disease Just Happening Movies Them Coach Disorder Watch Need
We'd all like to increase pleasure and minimize pain, but the truth is, suffering, even collective suffering that we're going through, is often the earmark that some real change is happening. Pete Holmes
Truth Change Suffering Truth Is Collective Pain Increase Earmark Pleasure Minimize Some Through Like Real Going Often Happening Even
Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I love talking about it with anybody. Not just religious people. Pete Holmes
Love Religion People Sometimes Embarrassing Religious Religious People Totally About Fact Sort Talking Am Very Get Burdened Often Just Anybody
A stand-up act is almost like a pool. You know what I mean? It's like a pool, and you're always skimming little leaves out of it, messing with the chlorine level, putting up umbrellas. You're trying to make one little stagnant body of water perfect. Whereas a late-night show is like a river, always moving forward. Pete Holmes
You Moving Forward Water Pool Late-Night Out Perfect River Almost Putting Like Know Make Messing Always Leaves Up Trying Whereas Stagnant Little Moving Mean Body Act Show Forward Level
What I don't think I knew when I was young was that 'losing your faith' is actually part of the plan for a lot of people - that it's actually maybe the most beautiful and graceful thing that can happen. The mystery of God can handle all of it. It can handle all of your thoughts, all of your doubts, all of your folly. It's all in the game. Pete Holmes
Beautiful God Faith Thoughts Game People Most Beautiful Losing Young Think Folly Mystery Part Knew Most Lot Graceful Handle Maybe Happen Plan Your Doubts Actually Thing
Ideally, a good pastor wants to empower a congregation to the point where they don't need him. You want everyone to leave feeling better. Pete Holmes
Good You Better Feeling Everyone Point Ideally Empower Him Leave Pastor Where Want Wants Congregation Need
There are elements of comedy that can be competitive and back stab-y, but one of the underreported sides is that we love each other and help each other, kind of like a messed up extended family. Pete Holmes
Love Family Comedy Other Back Sides Kind Like Messed Messed Up Up Help Each Elements Extended Extended Family Competitive
I hate when pastors have a gay son and then they become pro-gay. Pete Holmes
Gay Son Hate Become Pastors Then
Why do we say 'Have a great weekend?' That's just a spell. You're just going - I have no control over your weekend. But words matter. They change our interior world. Have a great weekend. Pete Holmes
Great You Change Words Interior World Matter Control Spell Our Say No Control Weekend Over Going Just Your Why
I love 'Year One.' I read 'Year One' over and over again. Pete Holmes
Love Year Over Read Again
I think there's something so funny about Ram Dass. I was lucky enough to sit across from him at dinner once, and I got up the courage to tell him that he was my favorite comedian. Even though he's not a comic, he talks about showbiz in a certain way and understands that there's a presentation to it. Pete Holmes
Funny Courage Dinner Sit Think Enough Ram Once Way Though Favorite Tell About Something He Comedian Him Talks Comic Got Understands Up Certain Across Certain Way Showbiz Lucky Even Presentation
Good comedy can be liberating, and if I'm doing my job as a comedian, part of the joy for the audience is getting that release. Pete Holmes
Good Joy Comedy Job Liberating Release Part Comedian Audience Doing Getting
When you slide into television, no one tells you exactly how manage expectations and work with your staff. Pete Holmes
Work You Slide Television Tells Exactly No-One How Expectations Manage Staff Your
Sometimes I liken the comedian's lifestyle a little bit to a firefighter's in the sense that there's a lot of waiting and a lot of nothingness. And then there are moments of urgent firefighting. Pete Holmes
Waiting Sometimes Sense Nothingness Bit Lifestyle Firefighter Comedian Lot Little Little Bit Urgent Then Moments
My wife left me when I was 28 in real life. Pete Holmes
Life Me Wife Real Life Real Left
Yeah, I had a talk show canceled. Okay, let's go back to the list of people who had talk shows canceled. Johnny Carson had his first talk show canceled. Jon Stewart. Letterman. Conan O'Brien, if you look at 'The Tonight Show' as a show that got canceled. Pete Holmes
You People First Back Okay Johnny Johnny Carson Jon Had Jon Stewart Conan Look Talk Talk Show Talk Shows Got Yeah Go His List Show Who Shows Letterman Tonight Tonight Show
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