Rita Rudner Quotes

Rita Rudner

American Comedian

Born: Sep 17, 1955

Because Love Me Men People You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. Rita Rudner

Sunlight Vegetarian Toward Until Leaning Started

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.' Rita Rudner

Interior Car Men Wear New Perfume Attract New Car

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. Rita Rudner

Together Word Down Charge About Gym Hour Instructor Call Said Got Aerobic Came Up Up And Down Jumping Going

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. Rita Rudner

Day Me Age Worth Husband Gave Paranoid Something More Head Day And Age Around Fake Than Maybe Want Neck Necklace

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. Rita Rudner

Mother Build Live Air Castles Neurotics Them

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was. Rita Rudner

Me Prom Tell Would No-One Where Asked

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me. Rita Rudner

Me Simple Pleased Easily Shallow Simple Person Very Person

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner

Success Marriage Outlast Hollywood Milk

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling. Rita Rudner

Happy Joke Feeling Liberating Write Very Get Satisfying

When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third. Rita Rudner

You First Dancer Grand Sudden Start Second Basics Third Position

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. Rita Rudner

Old Meet Ears Until Gracefully Plan Grow

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again. Rita Rudner

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. Rita Rudner

Try Thought Singing Field Too Dancing Logic Had Comedians Well Female Were Than Fewer Which Might Acting Many Competitors

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' Rita Rudner

Summer Finally Broadway Beach Taking Performing Said Gotta Ballet Go Miami Stock Did Companies Lessons Started

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it. Rita Rudner

No Desire Had Until Comic Decided Stand-Up Comic Desire

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. Rita Rudner

Personality Better Humor Different Kinds Introspective Kinds Some Fit Different Sarcastic

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh. Rita Rudner

You Laugh Stay Table Push Envelope Make Just Middle Want

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