34 Robert Webb Quotes for You to Enjoy

Robert Webb

English Comedian

Born: Sep 29, 1972

Comedy Me Men People Think You

Related authors: Benny Hill James Acaster Jimmy Carr Julian Clary Les Dawson Norman Wisdom Rowan Atkinson Russell Brand

Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives. Robert Webb

Men Girl Gender Feminism Distinctions Carry Hating About Adult Absurd Learn Boy Boys And Girls Childhood Lives Challenging

Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots. Robert Webb

You Thug Party Idiot Out Allegiance Thugs Missing Also Make Because Makes Does Idiots Often Notice Certainly Two

When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened. Robert Webb

Our Exactly Exactly What Able My Friend Through Stuck Put Head Between Tower Heads Halfway Stick Friend Up Get Eiffel Eiffel Tower Size Happened Decided Which Your Gap Tom Nearly Right

My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. Robert Webb

Birthday Kiss First Party Birthday Party Proper Her

We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. Robert Webb

Women People Rest Men Gender Shifting Every Fathers Back Sexes Tries Variety Daughters Step Individuals Sons Also Mothers Difference Convention Races Separate Notions Reinforce

It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians. Robert Webb

Scared Some Comedians Because Odd Very Actor

I proposed to my wife on Brighton Beach, and she said yes. That's pretty romantic. Even though I forgot to go down on one knee because I was too busy trying to compose the question. Robert Webb

Car-essential is a real turn-off to me, so yeah, I just want a friendly holiday resort with a villa and a pool, but which is really private, but there again, there's a supermarket and a doctor's and a beach a five-minute walk away. That's all I want, and it's quite difficult to find. Robert Webb

Me Doctor Walk Pool Difficult Resort Find Beach Supermarket Real Yeah Private Friendly Five-Minute Quite Just Want Which Again Holiday Turn-Off Really Villa Away

Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of 'thinker', with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won't really do. Robert Webb

People Word Poet Young Every Unpublished Student Comedian Himself Around His Ambiguity Role Expected Hanging Stadiums Arts Young People Really Full Professional Thinker Pull

I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really. Robert Webb

Comedy TV Up Grew Really Watching British

I don't really have that much contact with Americans. I mean, I see the oddest things on the Internet, I suppose. And I've got a couple of American friends, but they are Anglophiles anyway because they've decided to come live here. Robert Webb

Internet Live See Contact Suppose Come Couple Because Got Friends American Decided Anyway Mean Much Really Things Here

Basically I try not to knock other comedians. Robert Webb

Try Other Knock Comedians Basically

There was a lot of terrible, terrible comedy in the seventies along with 'Fawlty Towers.' It's easy to forget. Robert Webb

Comedy Seventies Easy Towers Along Terrible Lot Forget

To do comedy, you have to be a pretty good actor to start with. Robert Webb

Good You Comedy Pretty Pretty Good Good Actor Actor Start

When I present those clip shows and movie mistakes and things, the persona the writers adopt for me is unimpressed, superior, very sarcastic - I'm not any of that. I can do it, but that's not what I'm like. Robert Webb

Me Superior Mistakes Those Adopt Writers Like Clip Very Persona Any Movie Sarcastic Shows Things Present

I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room. Robert Webb

Day You School Care Mind Made Dinner Tea Living Further Ate Dining Dining Room Telly Table Kitchen Kitchen Table Supper Voted Also How Go Nor Did Front Where Whether Room Your Dad Mum Right

Slow, skinny, and an utter countryside coward: I lived in dread of nettles, spiders, and the very sound of a wasp. As a victim, I was beneath the dignity of the bullies in my year but fair game to the ones in the year below. Robert Webb

My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig's ear of retaking my A-levels. Robert Webb

Mother Make Pig Died Moved Dad Ear

I am a feminist. I don't especially care for the term, but there it is. Robert Webb

Care Term Am Feminist

UKIP trades in the language of fear and division; it seeks power in order to reject responsibility. Robert Webb

Fear Language Responsibility Power Seeks Division Trades Order Reject

Ukippers are the kinds of fools who haven't noticed they're sleep-walking towards fascism. Many UKIP candidates are of the age when their parents fought in the Second World War. Robert Webb

War Age World Parents Fools Kinds Towards Candidates Noticed Who Many Fascism Fought Second World War Second World War

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