457 Jokes Quotes for You to Enjoy

I want to be on a show that's not sensitive to racial jokes; I want to be on one where they call me everything and I call them right back. There's blatant racism going both ways. That's what we need. Wale

At one point, I wrote 20 jokes a day, and I had a commitment to send them to the same three people. Now, I just write down what my husband says in his sleep. He's the funniest person, even unconscious. Wendy Liebman

Day Jokes Commitment People Husband Three Down Says Point Write Had Unconscious He Wrote His Person Same Send Just Them Even Now Funniest Sleep

I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was. Whitney Cummings

Funny Time You Jokes Think Once Possible Costs Mentality Onstage Had Like Comedian How Just Where Moment

Being on the plane is my catch-up time. I write thank-you notes. I read. I write stand-up jokes. Whitney Cummings

Time Jokes Write Read Being Notes Plane

Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has. Will Smith

I make jokes. That's what I do. Wyatt Cenac

Jokes Make

I know for myself, every now and again on HBO, they'll show some of the young comedian specials from the '80s and early '90s, and it's just fascinating to watch those comedians - some of whom are people that are world-famous, like Chris Rock or Judd Apatow - to see the jokes that people had, but also, the way everything looked. Wyatt Cenac

Myself Jokes People Young Every Everything Way Those See Some Had Like Comedian Know Comedians Looked Also Rock Just Again Show Fascinating Whom Now Chris Chris Rock Watch Early

Steven Wright can do Steven Wright very well. Not everyone can do Steven Wright's jokes with the same results. Wyatt Cenac

Jokes Everyone Wright Results Steven Well Very Same

I'm not particularly fond of Shoah jokes, yet there is one I cannot forget: Why was Auschwitz an optimistic place? Because all the pessimists were already in New York by then. Yair Lapid

Jokes Fond New Particularly Because Were Auschwitz Optimistic Forget York New York Cannot Place Then Pessimists Why

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes. Zac Efron

Jokes Girl Tell Telling Bad Like Blush Her Start

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night. Zach Galifianakis

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked. Tom Stoppard

I tended toward animated material that wasn't just for kids. I could tell as a kid watching those shows that I loved the jokes that I got but I also loved the jokes I didn't get because I felt that I was hanging out with a smarter, cooler audience. Alex Hirsch

I think anything is possible if the jokes are good. Neal Brennan

Good Jokes Think I Think Possible Anything Anything Is Possible

People get so heated about it and can't see the funny side, I think. And plus, everything's been said. It must be really difficult to come up with new jokes about Brexit. Diane Morgan

I always thought that the film would be successful if we captured Harvey Milk, like the way Harvey really was-the personality, the humor, the corny bad jokes, all of it. Dustin Lance Black

Jokes Personality Humor Thought Corny Way Harvey Bad Would Would-Be Like Always Really Successful Captured Film Milk

I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke. Mike O'Malley

Jokes Joke Guts Commencement Did Biggest Speech

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