33 Nish Kumar Quotes for You to Enjoy

Nish Kumar

British Comedian

About Me People Think Time You

When I left my family home and had finished university, I stayed in South London but moved closer to London’s center, to Brixton and Herne Hill. Herne Hill is a tiny place that is ridiculously overstocked with lovely pubs. Nish Kumar

Home Family Finished London Stayed Had Hill South Left Closer Tiny Moved Center Lovely Place Ridiculously Pubs University

There’s a 'Seinfeld' episode, where he talks about why he can’t get angry, because his voice rises to a comedic pitch and no one takes him seriously - and that’s true of me, too. Nish Kumar

We’ve all been there - you find something moving, you commission a painting. I know one wall of my living room is taken up by a mural of the end of Toy Story 3. Nish Kumar

You Painting Living Find Something Taken Know Toy Been End Up Wall Commission Story Moving Room Mural Living Room

I spend a lot of time bathing in a glow of consensus, but you have to be willing to say something to people who might not agree with you and take the consequences of what follows. Nish Kumar

Time You People Consequences Bathing Spend Say Willing Follows Something Take Glow Lot Might Who Agree Consensus

Frustration with the trains is inevitable, given the daily difficulties commuters face. Nish Kumar

Daily Frustration Face Inevitable Difficulties Given Trains

I'm quite good at Lego and Fifa, but they don't translate in the real world. Nish Kumar

Good World Real Quite Lego The Real World Real World FIFA Translate

As a kid who illegally streamed 'The Daily Show' it has always been a goal of mine. Nish Kumar

Daily Mine Kid Always Been Goal Show Who Daily Show

I have a strange nose: it’s big and weird. Nish Kumar

Strange Big Weird Nose

Brexit is a ceaseless grind of conversations about customs unions and backstops. Anything that can add an air of whimsical, childlike wonder to proceedings can only be a good thing. Nish Kumar

Good Unions Add Air About Only Good Thing Ceaseless Wonder Childlike Anything Conversations Whimsical Grind Customs Brexit Thing

I’m a standup comedian who can’t drive. I have never learned. I don’t trust my hand-eye coordination. You’re looking at someone who once dropped a cricket ball on to his own head during a routine catching practice; I don’t think it’s a great idea to have me in control of a high-speed metal death robot. Nish Kumar

Death Great Me Trust Drive Looking Practice Robot Own Control Think Cricket Once Great Idea Someone High-Speed Never Head Dropped Idea Catching Comedian Learned Ball Metal His Who Standup Coordination Routine

All comedy shows make me feel better about everything. Nish Kumar

Me Better Comedy Everything About Feel Comedy Shows Make Shows

I once got chased off stage by a heavy-metal band. Nish Kumar

Band Stage Once Chased Got Off

I don’t feel I’m in competition with anyone. My sense is of it being like school: I don’t want to beat anyone but I don’t want to get left behind. That’s a great motivator. I like impressing my friends. Nish Kumar

Great Competition School Sense Beat Feel Like Motivator Left Friends Get Behind Being Want Anyone

I’m a touring standup comedian so a lot of the time I’m looking for box sets that I can put on my computer to pass the time on train journeys. I have far too much free time for an adult. Nish Kumar

But I like the process of putting a show together and the impact that Edinburgh has on me as a performer. Nish Kumar

Me Together Impact Putting Performer Like Edinburgh Process Show

I have a Stratocaster, which is part of my long, doomed ambition to become Jimi Hendrix. Nish Kumar

Long Become Ambition Jimi Hendrix Part Doomed Which Hendrix

I consider it, the life of being a comedian - they have a right to boo me. Nish Kumar

Life Me Boo Consider Comedian Being Right

I think I spent a lot of my mid-twenties thinking it was a problem of my onstage persona. But, actually, it was my actual personality. I was still working out what kind of person I was. Nish Kumar

Problem Personality Think Thinking I Think Spent Out Kind Onstage Still Lot Person Persona Working Actual Actually

During the Brexit campaign there was a deficit of outrage. Nish Kumar

Deficit Outrage Campaign Brexit

Viola Davis is just one of those actors who is never bad in anything. She could be in an awful film but you’d never come away from it saying she was bad. Nish Kumar

Saying Those Bad Could Davis Never Come She Just Anything Just One Who Film Actor Away Awful Viola

I grew up in the South London outer areas of Bromley and Croydon. Bromley and Croydon are interchangeable punch lines to any joke somebody wants to make about a shit part of England. Nish Kumar

Somebody Joke Punch Outer London About Area Part Make Lines South Up Any Grew Wants Interchangeable England

For many of us, football is both a source of frustration and absolute euphoria. Nish Kumar

Frustration Both Absolute Football Source Us Euphoria Many