20 Whitney Cummings Quotes for You to Enjoy

Whitney Cummings

American Comedian

Born: Sep 4, 1982

Me People Think Time Women You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

I'm kind of emotionally dyslexic, and when I feel vulnerable or nervous, I laugh. Whitney Cummings

Dyslexic Nervous Laugh Kind Emotionally Feel Vulnerable

I'd love to be Katherine Heigl's best friend in a movie! Whitney Cummings

Love Best Best Friend Friend Movie Katherine

Stand-up. It's the only place I'm comfortable. Whitney Cummings

Only Comfortable Place

I have a theory, which is that the idea of a roast is to go to this forbidden, uncomfortable, almost performance-art-level shock place, but because we're so regularly shocked and offended today, the idea of an hour and a half of unbridled negativity is just so unappealing. Whitney Cummings

Being on the plane is my catch-up time. I write thank-you notes. I read. I write stand-up jokes. Whitney Cummings

Time Jokes Write Read Being Notes Plane

When a lot of people are distrusting the news they watch, comedians are stepping up talking about things that most people are too afraid to talk about, shining light on problems nobody else will admit, whether it's Samantha Bee or John Oliver or Trevor Noah. Whitney Cummings

News People Light Problems Will Too Else John Admit About Noah Stepping Nobody Nobody Else Most Comedians Talk Talking Bee Shining Lot Up Afraid Whether Things Oliver Watch

I am excited to show people how, when you get older, you get deeper, you get more raw, you get more honest, and you stop pretending to be the person you think people want you to be. I stopped worrying about what people wanted me to say and just sort of dug deep into my personal arsenal of my mistakes and shameful thoughts. Whitney Cummings

Me Thoughts You People Pretending Mistakes Older Think Worrying Say About More Shameful Excited Raw Sort How Am Dug Arsenal Person Get Personal Just Stop Stopped Want Wanted Show Show People Deep Deeper Honest

I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was. Whitney Cummings

Funny Time You Jokes Think Once Possible Costs Mentality Onstage Had Like Comedian How Just Where Moment

I wrote a 'Lenny Letter' on a whim, and it felt indulgent, but people came up to me with tears in their eyes saying, 'Thank you.' There's so much shame about mental illness in our country and so many stereotypes about women being 'crazy' or 'psycho.' Whitney Cummings

Saying Me Crazy You Eyes Women People Tears Country Thank You Our About Mental Mental Illness Shame Stereotypes Indulgent Wrote Felt Came Up Thank Being Psycho Whim Lenny Much Many Illness Letter

After school, I'd wait for someone to pick me up and no one would, so I'd be like, 'I guess I'll walk home.' I had to be a hustler, because nobody did anything for me. Whitney Cummings

We're socially constructed to hide our flaws, and that breeds pain for a lot of people. Whitney Cummings

People Hide Pain Our Constructed Lot Flaws Breeds Socially

I think that we're in a really amazing time, where there are really a lot of really fantastic female actresses and comedians. I imagine there's just a lot of opportunity for women to have powerful roles. Or it's just that there's more women writing TV. Women tend to maybe write strong women. Whitney Cummings

Time Women Writing Strong Opportunity Amazing Think TV Strong Women More Tend Write Powerful Comedians Female Amazing Time Lot Roles Maybe Just Where Fantastic Really Actress Imagine

I was joking the other day about how my real life feels like a TV show, and my TV life feels real - because, to be on Thursday nights on NBC, which is what I grew up with, has been such a big part of inspiring me. To be part of that tradition is really completely surreal, and I'm so grateful. Whitney Cummings

Life Day Me Grateful Big Real Life Nights Other Has-Been TV TV Show About Inspiring Joking Part Thursday Feels Like Because How Real Tradition Been Surreal Up Big Part Grew Which Really Show Such A Big Part NBC

I did some pretty embarrassing modeling, like catalogs and QVC. I know there's probably a stereotype where all pretty girls think they're unattractive, but modeling is the worst thing for your self-esteem, because you're never pretty enough, you're never thin enough. Whitney Cummings

You Girl Think Enough Worst Worst Thing Embarrassing Unattractive Some Pretty Pretty Girls Never Catalogs Stereotype Like Know Self-Esteem Because Modeling Did Where Your Thin Thing

I remember my agent at ICM at the beginning of my career telling me that I wasn't pretty enough, that I was always going to be a quirky sidekick. And he was an ogre of a man. He should have been carrying a torch. If he was in a bar, he couldn't have come near me, and then he was deciding my fate. Whitney Cummings

Me Man Fate Remember Beginning Enough Sidekick Torch Telling Carrying Pretty He Come Always Been Quirky Going Deciding Bar Agent Then Should Near Career

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