633 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

You realize that as much as you want to socialize with the people on the set, or you want to, after a day shooting, joke around or whatever. Somehow, with playing Jesus, this doesn't happen. You actually need to decompress and be on your own and prepare on your own. It never happened to me before. Juan Pablo Di Pace

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Sometimes it takes you two or three seconds to get your head round a joke and laugh at it. With a snot-bubble laugh, it comes instinctively - almost in spite of yourself. It's caused by something silly - like when a little kid says something unexpectedly bizarre. Julian Barratt

You Yourself Sometimes Three Joke Seconds Kid Says Laugh Bizarre Silly Something Spite Head Takes Almost Instinctively Like Caused Get Unexpectedly Little Little Kid Your Round Two

If you come away from a show thinking of an image, that's as good as remembering a joke. A lot of those shows, like 'The Office,' they are brilliant, but they're not visually interesting. Julian Barratt

Good You Brilliant Joke Thinking Those Remembering Come Like Lot Office Interesting Show Shows Away Image

I think we are aware that post-racialism isn't real, right? I mean, I hope so. I kind of joke that we're post-post-racial. Justin Simien

Hope Joke Think Kind Real Mean Aware Right

It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. Karl Pilkington

Home Joke Like Being Really

I joke that I'm in the market for a cabin in the woods, and, at some point, I won't be joking anymore. Kasie Hunt

Joke Market Some Point Cabin Joking Anymore Woods

There's a joke that, if you can ride through Texas with somebody, which is 700 miles of just straight, flat freeway riding, then you can be friends with them forever. Katee Sackhoff

You Ride Somebody Joke Through Freeway Texas Friends Forever Just Flat Which Straight Them Then Miles Riding

I'm very careful not to tell a joke just to get a reaction. Katherine Ryan

Joke Tell Reaction Very Get Just Careful

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke! Kathy Griffin

Life Time Jokes Joke Mistakes Real Life Stage Say Constantly Make Policy Real Microphone Apologize Apology Ridiculous Things

I make funny videos. I hate saying I'm a comedian because then people stick their finger in your face and demand you tell a joke. But the other thing people call me is 'a YouTube sensation,' which is even worse. Katie Nolan

Funny Saying Me You Hate People Videos Face Joke YouTube Other Worse Tell Finger Demand Comedian Make Call Because Stick Sensation Which Then Your Even Even Worse Thing

I think you can safely joke about anything. Mostly. Katya Zamolodchikova

You Joke Think About Mostly Safely Anything

There's a lot of different styles of hypnosis. There's conversational hypnosis, which, even though we joke about it, politicians use conversational hypnosis. I've been hired back at home in Ireland by certain politicians to assist them in specific language patterns that will just tip people over into their, you know, into their zone. Keith Barry

Home You People Language Will Joke Politicians Back Though About Hypnosis Over Know Styles Hired Been Lot Ireland Just Tip Different Which Conversational Patterns Them Certain Use Different Styles Even Specific Assist Zone

When we're on set, we kind of joke around, and when we're rehearsing, we change up the scenes and make each other laugh. We lighten up the mood. The blooper reel is going to be amazing on 'New Moon.' Kellan Lutz

Change Amazing Moon Joke Other Mood Laugh Kind Scenes Lighten New Make Around Up Going Rehearsing Each Set

I live on a ranch in Texas and do my own thing. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it. My joke is that the only people I'm trying to please are myself and my fans, because they're the ones buying my records. And I have the best, most loyal fan base ever. Kelly Clarkson

Best Myself People Fans Care Joke Own Live Please Ranch Say About My Own Only Records Most Because Texas dont Care Trying Anyone Fan Fan Base Loyal Base Ever Thing Buying

I guess what Kenny Omega is, even though the image is something that was given to me by New Japan and then tweaked by me, it's just me, Tyson Smith. Yeah, that's me, just a guy that likes to joke around when he doesn't have to be serious. And when he has to be serious, he's really serious! Kenny Omega

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! Kevin Nealon

Good Great Joke Response Rush Come Audience Up Gets Gold

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place. Kurt Braunohler

Life Writing World Better Stupidity My Life Long Joke Smell Strangers Think About Better Place Absurdity Like Comedian Make Am Doing Came Existence Up Order Place Which Then Really Reason Why Lives Started

I still love a well-crafted joke. Twitter's been great for that. Kyle Kinane

Love Great Joke Twitter Still Been

Anyone that knows me knows I love to joke around and have fun. Kyle Richards

Love Me Have Fun Joke Knows Around Anyone Fun

I had big teeth, and I was goofy. I probably used to mess with people too much. People were always trying to be cool, and I was just being goofy and an idiot. So whenever I would get picked on - which happened a lot - I would usually find a way to talk my way out of it or joke my way out of it. Lamorne Morris

People Too Much Joke Big Idiot Too Teeth Way Out Would Find Had Picked Talk Goofy Mess Always Were Lot Get Trying Just Whenever Being Happened Which Much Used Cool

The joke around my office is that I've shaken many hands, but I've petted more dogs. Larry Hogan

Joke Shaken More Around Dogs Office Hands Many

My joke is that three black people watch 'The Daily Show' at any given time. So if I'm watching it, that counts, and there's only two left. It's a silly joke, but you know, different types of comedy reach different cultures. Larry Wilmore

Time Daily You People Comedy Black Three Joke Types Silly Given Only Reach Counts Know Cultures Left Any Any Given Time Different Different Cultures Show Different Types Daily Show Watch Watching Two

The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There might be a joke or two in the past that I wish I hadn't done, but in the past, you can't have it back. Larry the Cable Guy

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