Chris Farley Quotes

Chris Farley

American Comedian

Born: Feb 15, 1964

Died: Dec 18, 1997

Good Life Me School Time You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

In the land of the skunks, he who has half a nose is king. Chris Farley

King Half He Nose Land Who

There's no control in life, is there? There's only one who's in control, and He'll take me when He wants me. I don't want to know about it. It's none of my business. But when it happens, I just ask that it won't be painful and that He forgives me my sins. Chris Farley

Life Me Business Control No Control About Only Take He Know None Sins Forgives Just Want Wants Happens Ask Painful

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer. Chris Farley

Crazy You Point Do You Know Know Fairy How Glue Guarantee

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down. Chris Farley

Down Everybody Fatty Laughs Falls

People... need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.' Chris Farley

I want to live fast and die young. Chris Farley

Young Live Die Want Fast

You enter strong and you exit strong, and you're going to be OK. Chris Farley

You Strong OK Enter Exit Going

I signed on as the clown, and, by golly, I'll keep up my end of the bargain. Chris Farley

Clown Signed End Up Bargain Keep

New York was scary, coming from the Midwest. At first, I thought I'd come in all cocky, like, 'I'm gonna bring this town to its knees!' After about a month, I was like, 'I wanna go home.' Chris Farley

Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes. Chris Farley

Character Only Volumes Him Just Different Play Basically

I remember one time when all the nuns in my Catholic grade school got around in a semicircle, me and Mom in the middle, and they said, 'Mrs. Farley, the children at school are laughing at Christopher, not with him.' I thought, 'Who cares? As long as they're laughing.' Chris Farley

Time Mom Me Remember School Thought Long Christopher Nuns Cares Laughing One Time Him Catholic Around Said Got Grade Grade School Middle Children Who Who Cares

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt. Chris Farley

Human Being Thought Enough Else Everyone Everyone Else Once Would Would-Be Had Had Enough Like Exempt Fame Bank Human Just Being Right

Everyone is treating it like a Hollywood story. In Madison, it's a neighborhood story. Chris Farley

Everyone Neighborhood Madison Like Story Hollywood Treating

I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a treadmill and with the weights, but it was driving me nuts. So I escaped. Tom Arnold picked me up and we went to Le Dome and had tons of desserts. Chris Farley

Work Me Lose Once Month Desserts Nuts Pounds Had Driving Picked Weights Arnold Dome Up Escaped Trying Center Santa Santa Monica Tom Monica Treadmill Tons

I went down to Chicago to try to go into a place called Second City. I auditioned for that and got in pretty quickly, but I couldn't stop partying. They gave me a warning: 'If you do it again, we're gonna kick you off the main stage.' Chris Farley

I can't help it. I want to be a good Catholic, but I'm a hedonist. Chris Farley

Good Catholic Want Help

I went and worked for my dad after school. I'd show up late and stuff like that. Chris Farley

School Late Stuff Like Up After After-School Worked Show Dad

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