50 Waiter Quotes for You to Enjoy

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.' Tommy Cooper

Me You Cheese Hop Kitchen He French Well Said Got Waiter Yes Get Frog Legs Sandwich Asked

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' Phyllis Diller

Three Grass He Hours Fresh Said Waiter Lady Asked Milk

I was a pretty damn good waiter. Antoni Porowski

Good Damn Pretty Waiter

I once joked in a book that there are three things you can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he is ready to see you, and you can't go home again. Bill Bryson

Life Home You Book Phone Three Once See Beat He Until Make Ready Go Go Home Waiter Again Company Things

There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again. Bill Bryson

Life Home You Phone See Beat He Until Make Ready Go Go Home Waiter Just Again Company Things

I was a terrible waiter. Billy Eichner

Terrible Waiter

I haven't had to do anything outside of show business my whole life. I've never been a waiter. I've only worked and gotten paid. It hasn't been a classic example of someone slogging through the business. Christopher Guest

I like America; I enjoy being there. Some people can't stand the insincerity - I love the waiter asking me how my day has been, the can-do culture there. I love the fact that again, you are visible in America. You turn the TV on, there are black politicians, black policemen, black soldiers. David Harewood

Love Day Me You Culture People Black Some People Politicians Enjoy Soldiers Visible Has-Been TV Some Insincerity Fact Like Policemen How Been Waiter Can-Do America Being Again Turn Asking Stand Being There

In 2008, Milton Sheppard opened the Waiter Training School in the Bronx, N.Y., charging $175 for courses, but the business soon ran out of money. He now operates a clown college in the same space. David Sax

Business Training Money School Space College Clown Ran Out Bronx Charging He Soon Opened Courses Waiter Same Now Milton

Unlike in Europe, where serving is often a career rather than a backup plan, American table-waiting remains a bootstrap business, and some of the biggest skeptics of waiter training courses and schools are seasoned servers themselves. David Sax

Once I started working as a professional actor, it was like, 'Bye-bye waiting tables, bye-bye bartending, bye-bye all the cliched jobs actors do.' But after a year of not getting work, there's this really difficult conflict, like, 'Do I have to go back to being a waiter when people recognize me from a show?' David Walton

Work Me Waiting Conflict People Year Difficult Back Once Recognize Jobs Tables Like Cliched Go Waiter Getting Being After Really Working Show Professional Actor Started

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. Don Herold

Life Good Seems Good Thing Waiter Serious Thing

After I finished school, I headed for Los Angeles, thinking, 'Movies. Beaches.' But I wanted to do serious stage work, so I upped sticks and moved to New York to study. I did the usual day jobs to support myself - waiting on tables, washing dishes, parking cars, anything to pay the rent. I was a terrible waiter, by the way. F. Murray Abraham

Work Myself Day Waiting School Car Finished Stage Pay Thinking Way Jobs Tables Angeles Beaches Parking Support Study Headed New Terrible Sticks Rent Los Los Angeles Waiter Did York Moved New York Wanted Dishes After Anything Movies Usual Washing Serious

In all likelihood, you've been treated by a Muslim doctor or served by a Muslim waiter or worked beside a Muslim computer programmer. Even if you think, 'I don't know any Muslims,' it's probably not true. G. Willow Wilson

You Doctor Think Muslim Muslims Beside Computer True Know Likelihood Been Waiter Any Worked Even Served Treated Programmer

Everything I do, I go to black people. If I have a problem at the airport, I'll go to the black ticket agent. I hope they notice me because I'll get better service. If I'm at a restaurant, I look for the black waiter. Rent-a-Car, give you the upgrade. Gary Owen

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. George S. Kaufman

God Finally Eye Dead Caught His Waiter Epitaph

I wrote 'The Room', 'The Birthday Party', and 'The Dumb Waiter' in 1957, I was acting all the time in a repertory company, doing all kinds of jobs, traveling to Bournemouth and Torquay and Birmingham. Harold Pinter

Time Birthday Party Birmingham Birthday Party Jobs Kinds Wrote Doing Waiter Dumb Repertory Room Acting Company Traveling

I was born in Newton, MA. Graduated from Brown University in 2001 with honors in English as a playwright. I attended the National Theater Institute at the Eugene O'Neill Center in Waterford, CT just after Brown. I moved to NYC in 2002 and was a professional... waiter, for 3 years. John Krasinski

By being a waiter 100 percent, I think I was a lot like any other actor in New York. I had credits because I'd work lunches during the week, and then on a Wednesday would go be lucky enough to be in a movie like 'Kinsey.' John Krasinski

Work Think Other Enough Would Kinsey Percent Wednesday Week Had New Like Because Go Waiter Lot York Any New York Being Movie Then Lucky Actor Credits

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