633 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

There aren't plus-sized teens represented in film who aren't made the butt of a joke. Danielle Macdonald

Made Joke Teens Who Film Butt

Growing up, you see movies, and the big person is always the butt of a joke or the funny best friend, or they lose weight, and that's when they become redeemable. Danielle Macdonald

Funny Best You Joke Big Become Lose Best Friend See Weight Always Friend Up Person Movies Growing Growing Up Butt

Over at the Olivia Pope & Associates set, we're like middle school children. Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around; there's show tunes and fart noises. Darby Stanchfield

Time School Dance Joke Action Every Every Time School Children Over Like Noises Around Middle Children Middle School Tunes Cut Show Pope Show Tunes Fart Olivia Set Associates

I'm not opposed to doing science fiction or comedy, but there has to be respect. I refuse to be the joke, the fat woman joke, in any movie. I've turned down roles. Darlene Cates

Respect Science Woman Comedy Joke Down Science Fiction Doing Opposed Roles Any Refuse Fiction Movie Turned Fat

For years and years, I was beset with snide remarks by certain members of the press, where they would turn John Oates into a joke, or they would trivialize what I do, which never really bothered me all that much. Daryl Hall

Me Joke Press Members Would John Bothered Remarks Never Years Years And Years Where Which Turn Much Really Certain

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. Dave Attell

Sometimes Joke First Tell Minutes Couple Working Hard

Lucasfilm called me out of the blue, and I almost hung up because I thought it was a practical joke. This was right before 'Revenge Of The Sith' came out. Here you are, a big 'Star Wars' fan, talking about 'Star Wars' all the time, and you have your master replica lightsaber, and then you get a call from Lucasfilm for a job? Dave Filoni

Time Me You Revenge Job Thought Joke Master Big Before Hung Out Out Here About Almost Practical Call Talking Because Came Up Replica Get Blue Big Star Fan Then Your Wars Star Star Wars Right Here

I guess I've kind of recognized what my worth is and what my specific brand of humor is. And that's not necessarily being the guy who's super witty and saying a joke every second. I'm the guy who you throw in a bizarre scenario, and I'll play it as real as possible. Dave Franco

Saying You Worth Humor Joke Every Guess Recognized Possible Kind Bizarre Super Guy Scenario Throw Witty Real Brand Being Who Specific Play Necessarily Second Every Second

I don't want to end up being some joke on a bad TV series. David Cassidy

Joke TV Bad TV Series Some End Up Being Want Series

There were times when I was a joke, but talent survives. David Cassidy

Joke Talent Were Times Survives

I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically. David Cross

Try Joke Think Ways More Economically Also Articulate

Nobody in this world thinks they're having enough sex. Watch any night on television, or any comedian in a nightclub, and every other joke is about people who aren't getting enough. David Frankel

People World Sex Joke Every Other Enough Television About Having Nobody Comedian Any Getting Who Watch Thinks Night Nightclub

Everybody wants me to finally close the curtain on the joke that is the Audley Harrison show. David Haye

Me Joke Everybody Finally Close Wants Curtain Show

As Asian-Americans, the charge that is often lobbed against us is sort of the least original: the idea that somehow we're perpetual foreigners, that we can't be trusted, and that even my father, who was patriotic to the point that it was kind of a joke among his children, would be accused of being disloyal to America. David Henry Hwang

Father Joke Kind Charge Would Would-Be Somehow Point Idea Sort Least Perpetual His Foreigners Trusted America Accused Often Being Children Patriotic Against Disloyal Us Who Original Even Among

I've always loved cuneiform; I've always loved the way it looks. I love that it's the world's oldest script. And the creative potential of bad translation or misunderstanding or something has always been at the core of the idea of 'Dirty Projectors.' So the cuneiform is pretty playful - basically, just a joke. David Longstreth

Love Creative World Joke Translation Way Bad Pretty Something Potential Dirty Idea Looks Always Misunderstanding Been Just Loved Script Oldest Playful Basically Core

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone. David Sedaris

Morning You Joke Argument Every Aid Later Say Someone Invaluable Something Winning February Write Most Said Been Years Diary Often Just Quote Whining Use Description Keeping

It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. David Walliams

At first, after my freshman year, it was kind of a joke, going into my sophomore year like, 'Hey, I wanna graduate in three years, two-and-a-half.' And we were just kind of playing with it, added some extra classes in, and then once I finished that following spring going into that next summer, it was just like, 'Hey, I can actually do it.' Deshaun Watson

Three Finished Joke First Year Spring Extra Added Summer Once Hey Kind Classes Some Following Like Sophomore Sophomore Year Freshman Freshman Year Were Years Graduate Going Just Wanna Just Kind After Then Next Actually Playing

It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can see it intellectually, as well as emotionally, and I don't know whether you've noticed, but if somebody tells a joke, it's nearly always a mini fantasy. Diana Wynne Jones

Me You Somebody Joke Everybody Humour Way Mini Tells See Seems Emotionally Know Well Always Off Intellectually Situations Whether Fantasy Sane Noticed Standing Keeping Nearly

The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films' failure - once again - to be honored. Dick Cavett

Hope Myself Good Failure Jokes Strong Joke Own Films Pulse Honored Once One Thing Phrase About Dating Had Delivery He New Accelerate Always His Very Again Bob Bob Hope Meant Used Thing Oscar Night

The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I'm not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject. Dick Cavett

Joke Before Neurological Results Remains Mystery Scholarly Studies Scientific Subject Brain Any Where Process Aware

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much. Don Adams

Joke Alimony Support Since Been Child Child Support Much Paying

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke. Don Rickles

Joke Situation Tell Becomes Cannot

I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke. Don Rickles

Joke Say Becomes Get Away Things

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor. Don Rickles

You Battle People Humor Joke Half Before Say Bit Like

If the clockwork universe equated the human body with the mechanics of the clock, the digital universe now equates human consciousness with the processing of the computer. We joke that things don't compute, that we need a reboot, or that our memory has been wiped. Douglas Rushkoff

Memory Digital Joke Universe Our Has-Been Compute Computer Wiped Equated Been Clock Clockwork Human Human Body Human Consciousness Processing Body Mechanics Now Things Consciousness Need

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