Fart Quotes

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. Kurt Vonnegut
You Earth Tell Around Anybody Different Fart Here
I can smell a liar like a fart in a lift! Robert Rinder
Liar Smell Lift Like Fart
If you can fart in front of somebody, you know that they love you. Thundercat
Love You Somebody Know Front Love You Fart
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone. Terry Pratchett
Alone You People Cancer Old See Seems Feel Makes Alzheimer How Disease Brave Quite Against Fart
If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart. George A. Romero
Me Fly Pay Statistic Out Writes Bucks Fail Industry Another Off Succeed Hollywood Fart Film Film Industry Million Million Bucks
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. Jenny McCarthy
Philosophy Dating Just Fart Away Right Right Away
Verbal contracts are about as useful as a fart on a treadmill. Robert Rinder
About Verbal Contracts Useful Fart Treadmill
Rock n' roll is for the young idiots, not an old fart like me. Al Jourgensen
Me Old Young Like Idiots Rock Rock-N-Roll Roll Fart
My dad was a very unconventional Asian American man. He was very much not quiet, not shy, not passive. If he had to fart, he'd do it in the library. He did not care. He was like, 'I don't know these people. I'm uncomfortable, and I need to let it go.' Ali Wong
Library Man People Care Uncomfortable Had He Unconventional Like Know Go Passive Very Quiet American Did Asian Asian-American Much Fart Dad Shy Need
If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity. Andy Samberg
You Jokes Humanity Piece Go Fart Let Go
'Stans' can not see anything wrong with their favorite artist. They love everything they do. If the artist fart, they're like, 'OMG, that was the best-sounding fart I ever heard in my life. She farted on beat,' whatever. I'm an 'objective fan,' so I can give my opinion about things. Charlamagne tha God
Life Love My Life Whatever Everything Favorite See About Objective Give Beat Wrong Like She Opinion Heard Artist Fan Anything Fart Ever Things
Over at the Olivia Pope & Associates set, we're like middle school children. Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around; there's show tunes and fart noises. Darby Stanchfield
Time School Dance Joke Action Every Every Time School Children Over Like Noises Around Middle Children Middle School Tunes Cut Show Pope Show Tunes Fart Olivia Set Associates
My ex-boyfriend didn't hear me fart once, and we were together six years. I hated the thought of grossing him out, so I think some things should be left to do privately. Emily Atack
Me Together Thought Think Once Out Hated Some Some Things Him Were Hear Years Left Privately Six Should Fart Things
Can you think of a single situation, no matter how grave, where the atmosphere would not be instantly shattered with a loud fart - or a drawing of a butt? There is no faster way to create universal common ground. Euny Hong
You Matter Single Situation Think Faster Way Drawing Would Atmosphere Instantly Shattered How Loud Common Where Common Ground Create Ground Fart Grave Butt Universal
I'm sounding like an old fart talking about how bad advertising is today, but it's true. Advertising sucks. Guys like me and Bob Gage and certainly Bill Bernbach and two or three other guys, we exemplified and led the creative revolution. George Lois
Today Me Creative Old Three Revolution Other Bad About Guys True Like Advertising Talking How Led Bob Bill Certainly Fart Sucks Two
I wouldn't fart in front of my wife, and she wouldn't do it in front of me. Harry Redknapp
Me Wife She Front Fart
I have no idea how to use social media for anything other than forwarding a good fart joke. Nia Vardalos
Good Social Media Joke Other No Idea Idea How Than Anything Social Use Fart Media
Fart jokes still work for me. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
Work Me Jokes Still Fart
I just find all that stuff incredibly funny. I love a fart. I'd do anything for a good poo story. Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Love Funny Good Incredibly Find Stuff Just Anything Story Fart
In the movies, every crazy old fart needs a cool old car. Jack Nicholson drove a spiffy yellow 1970 Dodge Challenger two-door in 'The Bucket List.' In 'Gran Torino,' the cranky pensioner played by Clint Eastwood not only owned a 1972 GT Sport, he also used to build cars like that at the Ford plant. Richard Corliss
Needs Crazy Old Plant Car Build Every Eastwood Only Bucket He Drove Like Also Sport Dodge Ford Clint Clint Eastwood Yellow Jack Jack Nicholson List Owned Cranky Movies Used Fart Cool Challenger Nicholson Played
At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart. Robert Gottlieb
You Old Face Fact Point Turned Certain Certain Point Fart
Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop. Ryan Hansen
Funny You Girl Claim Know Because Want Fart
I had this website that, at one point, I listed myself as 'actor, writer, comedian, and fart enthusiast' just because I thought that would be a really clear joke. Thomas Middleditch
Website Myself Thought Joke Would Would-Be Enthusiast Point Writer Had Clear Comedian Because Listed Just Just Because Really Fart Actor
I couldn't fart in an elevator without people wanting to sue me. Tommy Morrison
Me People Without Wanting Fart Sue Elevator

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