633 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he's broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it's not a joke anymore. Roald Dahl

Broken You Laughter Joke Skin Chap Backside Slip Laughing Fine See Fine Line He Roar Between Roaring Disaster Crying Because Doing Line His Falls Very Banana Leg Quickly Stop Anymore Suddenly Slap Street

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke. Brian P. Cleary

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. Clifton Fadiman

Sense Of Humor Humor Joke Sense Ability Oneself Understand

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a joke - the fact that Madonna is in before Rush and Kiss. Those two bands have influenced so many groups and people other than in metal. Corey Taylor

The humanists' replacement for religion: work really hard and somehow you'll either save yourself or you'll be immortal. Of course, that's a total joke, and our progress is nothing. There may be progress in technology but there's no ethical progress whatsoever. David Bowie

Everything we say has metamessages indicating how our words are to be interpreted: Is this a serious statement or a joke? Does it show annoyance or goodwill? Most of the time, metamessages are communicated and interpreted without notice because, as far as anyone can tell, the speaker and the hearer agree on their meaning. Deborah Tannen

Time Words Joke Our Everything Statement Say Tell Goodwill Annoyance Most Because Without Does How As Far As Anyone Meaning Far Notice Speaker Show Agree Serious Interpreted

I never smile when I have a bat in my hands. That's when you've got to be serious. When I get out on the field, nothing's a joke to me. I don't feel like I should walk around with a smile on my face. Hank Aaron

Smile Me You Walk Face Joke Field Nothing Bat Out Never Feel Like Around Got Get Hands Should Serious

To show that a comedian on stage in India talking about sanitation or in South Africa talking about HIV and AIDS awareness, if you follow the joke into their lives, you can see that, like, oh, these things aren't just contrived in joke books. This is real life. I think the best comedians have that bravery and courage to say, Oh, this is what it is. Hasan Minhaj

Life Best You Courage Joke South Africa Real Life Stage Awareness Think AIDS Books Say India Follow See About Like Comedian Comedians Talking Real South Contrived HIV Bravery Oh Just Africa Sanitation Show Lives Things

The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it has to offer the Third World - a laughingstock to countries that are looking for an economic-development model. Jack Kemp

World Joke Looking Threat Countries Economy Terms Offer Model Soviet Soviet Union Represents Might Union Third Third World

My brother was listening to his transistor radio. He kept switching the earpiece from one ear to the other, which I thought was his idea of a joke. 'You can't do that,' I said. 'You can only hear out of one ear.' 'No, I can hear out of both,' he answered. And that was how I discovered I was deaf in my right ear. Jane Lynch

You Listening Thought Joke Other Out Brother Only Both He Idea Deaf Said Answered How Hear His Discovered Which Radio Switching Right Ear Kept

There is a painful joke that Europeans often tell of their Gallic neighbors: God created France, the most beautiful country in the world with so much good in it, and ended up feeling guilty about it. He had to do something to make it fair. And so, he created the French people. Janine di Giovanni

Beautiful God Good People World Most Beautiful Joke Feeling Country France Guilty Neighbors Tell About Something Had He Beautiful Country Fair Most French Make French People Up Ended Often Much Created Painful Europeans

I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than they are. It just takes faith and belief in yourself, and you've got to dig deep into that. That has to come from you - nobody's going to give you that. Jennifer Lopez

Life Faith You Yourself People Haters Joke Doubt Dig Everybody About Give Takes Feel Nobody Come Make Always Got Motivate Than Going Just Them Less Who Deep Belief Letting

You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that. Jimmy Carr

You Experience World Joke Fine About Disability Disabled Talk Well Comics Go Different Want Race Then Your

Maybe the universe is a giant practical joke and we don't know the punchline. John Lloyd

Joke Universe Giant Know Practical Maybe

I realized that I get pleasure when I'm told, 'Don't listen to the haters; they're losers in their moms' basements.' I imagine these 'losers' and feel better about myself. Their insults hurt less if I label them 'pathetic.' I diminish their value in order to protect mine. I noticed that I'm quick to make a joke at someone else's expense. Julie Plec

Myself Hurt Better Value Haters Joke Else Mine Pleasure Diminish About Someone Feel Protect Make Insults Losers Label Quick Get Pathetic Listen Expense Order Them Realized Noticed Less Moms Imagine

But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to hustle in my own way. I can't tell you how frustrating it was that they didn't get that. No joke - I'd leave meetings crying all the time. Kanye West

I laugh and joke, but I don't get distracted very easily. LeBron James

Joke Easily Laugh Distracted Very Get

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. Lewis Black

Great Joke Say Writer Comic Odd Which

I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke. Lucille Ball

Me Jokes Joke Tell Anecdotes Never Know How Stories Happened

Joke Quotes

No more joke quotes