369 Comedian Quotes for You to Enjoy

People are going to label you anyway, but the one that bugs me the most is when they say, 'One of the funniest female comedians.' There's s no 'funniest male comedians.' You're either a funny comedian, or you're not! Wanda Sykes

Funny Me You People Say Comedian Most Comedians Bugs Female Male Label Going Anyway Either They Say Funniest

I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry. Wendy Liebman

I wanted to be a comedian long before I wanted to be a musician, for sure. Weyes Blood

Long Before Musician Comedian Sure Wanted

I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was. Whitney Cummings

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I feel like I've always thought of myself as a comedian. Wyatt Cenac

Myself Thought Feel Like Comedian Always

I know for myself, every now and again on HBO, they'll show some of the young comedian specials from the '80s and early '90s, and it's just fascinating to watch those comedians - some of whom are people that are world-famous, like Chris Rock or Judd Apatow - to see the jokes that people had, but also, the way everything looked. Wyatt Cenac

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My younger sister's a comedian. She has a sketch comedy group in Chicago called Schadenfreude and I look at her with such admiration and envy because it's such an amazing thing to make someone laugh. Brian d'Arcy James

I’m a touring standup comedian so a lot of the time I’m looking for box sets that I can put on my computer to pass the time on train journeys. I have far too much free time for an adult. Nish Kumar

From the age of 14, I remember thinking I wanted to be a comedian. But that was like saying I wanted to be an astronaut. It felt like a million miles away, something I could never do, but would be great to. Lee Mack

Saying Great Age Remember Thinking Astronaut I Remember Would Would-Be Something Could Never Like Comedian Felt Wanted Miles Away Million

Hard audiences tend to be when it's all men. It's when businesses have dos where they're at conferences all day then book a comedian for the evening. They're men of a certain age - basically middle-aged, balding, 50 to 60 years old and I just know I can't make these people laugh hysterically. Michael McIntyre

Day Age Book People Old Men All Day Laugh Tend Comedian Know Make Audiences Years Conferences Just Where Middle-Aged Then Certain Certain Age Hard Businesses Evening Basically

I’m a standup comedian who can’t drive. I have never learned. I don’t trust my hand-eye coordination. You’re looking at someone who once dropped a cricket ball on to his own head during a routine catching practice; I don’t think it’s a great idea to have me in control of a high-speed metal death robot. Nish Kumar

Death Great Me Trust Drive Looking Practice Robot Own Control Think Cricket Once Great Idea Someone High-Speed Never Head Dropped Idea Catching Comedian Learned Ball Metal His Who Standup Coordination Routine