50 Bill Bailey Quotes for You to Enjoy

Bill Bailey

English Comedian

Born: Jan 13, 1965

Comedy Me Music People Think You

The Dutch do have a slightly odd sense of humour. Bill Bailey

Sense Humour Slightly Odd Dutch

A lot of the time, you need to find the right home for ideas. You know, sometimes you think 'oh this'd be a sitcom, oh, no it wouldn't, it'd be a drama, or an educational thing, or a doco or something.' I've got loads of ideas and you just have to keep sending them and pitching them. Bill Bailey

Time Home You Sometimes Think Drama Find Something Ideas Know Got Educational Lot Sitcom Sending Oh Pitching Just Them Keep Right Thing Loads Need

The Lib Dems are such terrible ditherers. Bill Bailey

Lib Terrible

I think happiness really happens when you least expect it: it's when you're not really thinking about it, when you're not trying to achieve it, when you're not trying to get the perfect holiday, the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect existence. Bill Bailey

Happiness Life You Achieve Think Thinking I Think About Perfect Perfect Life Least Existence Expect Get Trying Happens Holiday Really Body

I had this plan that David Byrne was going to come through the West Country one day, think, 'Who's that guy?' and ask me to go on tour with them. Bill Bailey

Day Me Country Think Byrne One Day Guy Through David Tour Had Come Go West Going Them Plan Ask

For me, audio books was about when you can't actually physically get hold of a book, like when you're driving. It's a fantastic companion on a long journey. Bill Bailey

Journey Me You Book Long Books About Physically Long Journey Driving Like Audio Get Hold Fantastic Companion Actually

The worst thing is when people try and take pictures surreptitiously. I always say, 'Look, you can ask me for a photograph. You will get a much better one than just the side of my face.' Sometimes they just run off. They can't cope. Bill Bailey

Me You People Better Sometimes Try Will Face Side Say Worst Worst Thing Run Photograph Take Pictures Look Always Off Than Get Just Ask Much Cope Thing

My mother was a classic matriarchal figure. She'd sing round the house and always had music on. Bill Bailey

Music Mother Classic Had House Sing She Always Figure Round

I hate all those celebrity sculptures like Tussauds, where everyone is dressed in spangly suits and they are all smiling. Bill Bailey

Hate Suits Everyone Those Dressed Like Smiling Celebrity Where Sculptures

I'm an omnivore, although I am trying to eat less meat. I went vegetarian for about two years, then I suddenly got a craving one morning and that was it. Bill Bailey

Morning I Am One Morning Eat About Vegetarian Although Got Am Years Trying Craving Then Less Meat Suddenly Two

I was asked to do an ad campaign for a supermarket once. I was baffled. It's strange when you realise your popularity or reputation is a marketable commodity; it's a stock, a currency. Bill Bailey

You Strange Reputation Once Supermarket Baffled Campaign Stock Currency Commodity Realise Asked Your Popularity Ad Ad Campaign

Comedy should be fluid. It should be both Left and Right wing. Bill Bailey

Comedy Fluid Right-Wing Wing Both Left Should Right

London is a great place to be over Christmas. Bill Bailey

Christmas Great London Great Place Over Place

I've always been reasonably upbeat about most things. Bill Bailey

About Most Always Been Upbeat Reasonably Things

There is something very poignant about plastic bags. These lonely plastic bags that gradually disintegrate. Bill Bailey

Lonely About Something Poignant Bags Very Gradually Plastic

Twenty-two years I've been doing this comedy lark, so it's been like a meteoric rise to fame... if the meteor was being dragged by an arthritic donkey across a ploughed field, in northern Poland. Bill Bailey

Comedy Field Rise Poland Like Meteor Doing Been Years Fame Northern Donkey Being Across Twenty-Two Lark Dragged