Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

Lisa Lampanelli
Lisa Lampanelli
American Comedian
Born: Jul 19, 1961
Because Comedy Me Myself People You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and each has a story to tell. These people should be helped, embraced, and not dismissed. We need to open our hearts and our minds to them, and we just may learn we're pretty much all the same. Lisa Lampanelli
People Single Nothing Every AIDS Our Minds Tell Embraced Pretty Open Like Learn Hearts Same HIV May Just Afraid Story Them Us Much Dismissed Should Helped Each Need
I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want to see the inside of it. Lisa Lampanelli
Life You Fans My Life Out Inside See Like Talking Private Private Person Person Hanging Want Interesting
In the end, censoring a comedian's jokes is on par with censoring 'Huckleberry Finn.' Now, I'm not comparing myself to Mark Twain - he had much wavier hair and a slightly thicker mustache. But when you deny an artist the chance to explore his art, you're forcing your beliefs on him. Lisa Lampanelli
Art Myself You Jokes Hair Forcing Mark Mark Twain Slightly Par Mustache Had He Comedian Him His Huckleberry Huckleberry Finn End Deny Artist In The End Much Explore Your Twain Beliefs Comparing Now Thicker Chance
It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over to sit on the couch after your comedy skit. Now it's whatever Howard Stern says goes. Lisa Lampanelli
You Comedy Important Sit Whatever Says Would Johnny Johnny Carson Couch He Invite Over Stern Most Important Person Howard Stern Person Goes The Most Important After Your Used Skit Media Now
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. Lisa Lampanelli
Me People Comedy Mad Has-Been Make Insult Around Been Forever Get Fun
I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain. Lisa Lampanelli
Myself People Comedy Complain Never Never Complain Never Explain Sell Get Explain Explained Who
I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump onto the tuna boat, I wouldn't because I'm not getting high-class babes that I should get at this level of my career. And I always know the ugly ones are serious and that the good-looking ones are goofing on me. Lisa Lampanelli
Good Me Ugly Looking Young Babes Out Onto Good-Looking Know Goofing Because Boy Always Jump Get Getting Wanted Tuna Boat Asked Really Should Lesbians Even Serious Keep Level Career
I heard Cher say, 'I answer to two people: Myself and God.' I say, 'I only answer to me. I'm not sure I appreciate God's opinion.' Lisa Lampanelli
God Myself Me People Say Only Sure Opinion Answer Heard Two Two People Appreciate
My thing has always been, I've never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything changed. It just opened me up and made me more loving... It's all because of him... He's made me a better person... I can tell people what I feel now. I can cry in front of people sometimes. Lisa Lampanelli
Me People Dog Better Sometimes Made Changed Everything Tell Minute More Better Person Never Open He Feel Opened Cry Him Because Vulnerable Always Got Been Up Very Person Front Just Loving Now Thing
We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate. Lisa Lampanelli
Car Husband Own Our Negotiate Husbands My Own Never Had Knew House Houses Always How Buying
If they hate you, they hate you, but I've always been polarizing, and I love that. Lisa Lampanelli
Love You Hate Polarizing Always Been
Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at 'Rolling Stone' magazine. Lisa Lampanelli
College City Magazine New York Stone Rolling Rolling Stone New York New York City After Working
Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the issue, the better. Lisa Lampanelli
People Better Too Many People Lost Too AIDS More Attention Issue Celebrities HIV Who Many Lives Bring
I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I'd learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels. Lisa Lampanelli
You Class Comedy Try Everything Kind Inside See Minutes Mystery Had Knew Journalism Feels Learn How Five Hit Done Wanted Figured Start
I always wrote about myself in the third person. I knew how to promote myself so it sounded intelligent. I know how to package myself. Lisa Lampanelli
Myself Promote About Knew Know Wrote Always How Intelligent Person Package Third
When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about - that I love or hate - because the audience likes to see passion. The stuff I rant and rave about stems from a place that really pisses me off. Lisa Lampanelli
Love Me Hate Comedy Passion First Laugh Rant See About Rave Stems Stuff Talk Likes Learned Because Makes Audience First-Person Said Am Doing Passionate Off Person Place Really Should Things
I do a big roast of Trump during my set now - which I clearly expanded on - because there's so much to make fun of him about now. Lisa Lampanelli
Big About Clearly Roast Make Him Because Trump Which Much Fun Now Set
Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts. Lisa Lampanelli
Day Will Higher Ticket Sales Get After
I've gone through literally over 30 years of struggle with weight and food and body image... and I'm like, 'Wait a minute.' Lisa Lampanelli
Food Struggle Wait Gone Minute Through Weight Over Like Years Literally Body Body Image Image
I order food like a normal human being. If I'm out to lunch, I'm going to order three courses like everybody else. I'm not going to feel like some kind of freak. Lisa Lampanelli
Food Human Being Three Lunch Everybody Everybody Else Else Out Kind Freak Some Feel Like Courses Normal Going Human Being Order
I looked around and couldn't believe no one has written a show about women and eating. It's the biggest issue women have. Lisa Lampanelli
Women Believe Eating About No-One Written Looked Around Issue Biggest Show
I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny. Lisa Lampanelli
Funny Food Girl Feelings Lost Pounds Stuff Over Than Anymore Skinny Even Ever
I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever. Lisa Lampanelli
Myself Few Would Make Audience Still Go Flawed Ever
I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have a breakdown. Lisa Lampanelli
You Will Case Never Arizona New Know York Just New York Breakdown Shrink
I've really been working on the emotional and internal issues that made me eat in the first place. It's been a real journey. Lisa Lampanelli
Journey Me Made First Eat Emotional First Place Real Issues Been Place Really Working Internal
I honestly feel like 99 percent of people have some kind of self-hate about their looks, and if I can joke about mine, maybe they can feel better about theirs. Lisa Lampanelli
People Better Joke Honestly Mine Kind Some About Percent Feel Like Looks Maybe
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