Chris Rock Quotes

Chris Rock

Chris Rock

Comedian

Born: Feb 7, 1965

Comedy First Me People White You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. Chris Rock

Government You Pay Take Taxes

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. Chris Rock

Innocent Gun Gun Control Control Every Think Thousand Cost Because Bullet Dollar Dollars Five Any Should Need

I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird. Chris Rock

Dark Own Moods My Own Weird Demons

A man is only as faithful as his options. Chris Rock

Man Faithful Only His Options

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty. Chris Rock

You Woman Damn Tells She Looks Sixteen Twelve Twenty Near

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man. Chris Rock

Man School White Blacks Invented Were Stolen

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy. Chris Rock

Comedy Group Verbal Activity

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time. Chris Rock

Time Lie Men Most

Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again. Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? Chris Rock

Love White Almost Like Yeah Being Famous Being Famous

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. Chris Rock

Sports People Black Final States Dominate Population United United States Four

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson. Chris Rock

Business Out Jackson Hang Want Janet Jackson Show Show Business Jesse Jackson

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. Chris Rock

Mother Proper Never Front Curse Either Careful

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. Chris Rock

Funny You Yourself Others About Something Only Know

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. Chris Rock

First Cosby He Comedian Because Curse Bill Bill Cosby Exposed

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. Chris Rock

Time Comedy Writer Wanted By The Time

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous. Chris Rock

You People Sometimes Only Parts Because Offer Famous Plays

I live way below my means. Chris Rock

Live Way Means Below

My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars. And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. I'm thinking, 'I've got 45 grand left!' Taxes didn't even come into my equation. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. We live in this baller, spend-money culture. Chris Rock

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. Chris Rock

History School Black First Kids Brooklyn Beach The History Of

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. Chris Rock

Above Hack Overrated Just

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