Alan King Quotes

Alan King
Alan King
American Comedian
Born: Dec 26, 1927
Died: May 9, 2004
About Father First Great Me You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted. Alan King
Morning Me Every Gave Nurse Took Drank One Morning Run Through Hospital Poured Had Like Said Juice Up Get Tube After Cloudy Again Little Them Held Even Apple Her Specimen
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat! Alan King
Every Summary Tried Eat Won Holiday Us Jewish
I can't stay friends with anyone who doesn't have a passion for something; and, generally speaking, artistic people, creative people carry it right into the kitchen, too. They have a zest for life; the excitement of living. All of the great eaters I've known are also men of great wit. Alan King
Life Great Creative People Passion Men Living Too Carry Stay Something Kitchen Generally Excitement Wit Also Known Friends Artistic Anyone Speaking Who Creative People Zest Right
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins. Alan King
Mother Car Accident Sister Cousins Male Six Eight Car Accident Raised
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails. Alan King
College Member Brother Physicians Nails Him Cut Youngest
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.' Alan King
Me Failure Smart Old Father Hero Tough Big Considered Dreamer Guy Tough Guy He Poland Like Himself Always Line His Handbags End Up Lady Who
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. Alan King
Love Buy You Marriage Books About Read Got Want Separate Two
Modesty is not one of my virtues. Alan King
Virtues Modesty
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it. Alan King
Comedy Reflection Mirror Nothing Society Distorted Ability House Make Styles Reflections Behaves Then Create Standards Fun Watch Set
You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine. Alan King
You Live Once Only Except Shirley
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father. Alan King
Better Father Parent
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom. Alan King
Funny Face Difficult Enough Worrying About Without Offend Going Whom
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something. Alan King
Great You Humor Think About Someone Something Expense Stop Nearly
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party. Alan King
You Made Party Took Tremendous Says Vaudeville He Alongside Look Up Dictionary Just Which Right Milton
I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy. Alan King
Good Me Joy Unhappy Bad Give Give Me Only Over Review Reviews Just Screaming Place
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them. Alan King
You Humor Somebody Weapon Attack Make Always Been Get Want Them Fun Even
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.' Alan King
You Soul Humor First Saw Charm Perform Him Doing Pryor Rhythm Richard Richard Pryor Act Jewish
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage. Alan King
Book Words Own Stage Else Exactly Ability Someone Absorb Make Doing Story Your
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about. Alan King
Time Oppression Father Thought First About He Wrote Talked Read Because First Time Dickens Things Jewish
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living. Alan King
Son Living Says Tell About Never Anyone Stories
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business. Alan King
You Business Comedy Amazing First Once Hooked Laugh Calling Learn Course How Survive Get To Survive Turn Then Hard Away
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day. Alan King
Day Morning Dinner Through Up Get Going Decide
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.' Alan King
Life Dinner One Thing Restaurant Never Said Japanese Whole Thing
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor. Alan King
Suits Eat Armor Place
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.' Alan King
Me Father Out All-Out He Said Leave Helped Here
As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself. Alan King
You Jokes Yourself Become Older More Feel Make Becomes Get Censor Sensitive Harder
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