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Paula Poundstone Quotes
Paula Poundstone Quotes
Paula Poundstone
American
Comedian
Born:
Dec 29
,
1959
Always
Back
Me
Thankful
Time
You
Related authors:
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
Milton Berle
Mitch Hedberg
Robin Williams
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
W. C. Fields
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
Paula Poundstone
Cats
Problem
Face
Exact
See
Look
Moth
Get
Same
The Problem With
Whether
When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
Paula Poundstone
School
Word
Every
Spell
Our
Out
High
Obama
High School
Voice
Gives
Put
Heads
Until
His
Graduate
Listen
Inauguration
Speeches
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
Death
Time
Tired
Feeling
Out
Taken
Sin
Sort
Wages
Just
Taxes
By The Time
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
Paula Poundstone
Funny
Thankful
Three
Somewhere
Savings
Ounce
Put
Bag
When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
Paula Poundstone
Time
Myself
Me
People
Writing
Problem
Down
Way
One Time
Geek
About
Invariably
Something
Write
Dawned
Part
Reminds
Like
Talk
Talking
Because
Felt
Said
Am
Off
Gets
Just
Stop
Just Because
Anything
Happened
Cut
Then
Sat
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone
Home
Cats
Miserable
Gone
Back
Once
Month
See
Hours
Just
Flew
Florida
Two
I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.
Paula Poundstone
Me
Conversation
Degree
Back
Everyone
Some
Something
Steer
Annoying
Diagnosed
Always
Years
Years Ago
Trait
Where
Happened
Which
Really
Disorder
Number
How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.
Paula Poundstone
Time
You
Else
Back
Step
Come
Know
Because
How
Optimistic
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
Paula Poundstone
Home
First
Kids
Out
Come
Because
Am
Get
Anywhere
Flight
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
Paula Poundstone
Me
Women
Comedy
Club
Nothing
All Women
One-Night
Invited
Auditions
Comics
Doing
Were
Did
Wanted
Connection
Night
There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
Paula Poundstone
You
Ways
Only
Foods
Them
Really
Many
Prepare
I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
Paula Poundstone
Love
World
Somebody
Must
Something
Takes
Performer
Talking
Audience
Always
Off
Just
Land
Luckiest
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