17 Jackie Mason Quotes for You to Enjoy

Jackie Mason

American Comedian

Born: Jun 9, 1931

About Because Life Me People You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one? Jackie Mason

You Kid Hear Accountant Did Wanted Even Ever Playing

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. Jackie Mason

Down Run He Truck Gets Englishman

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future. Jackie Mason

Politics Future You Win Picture Country Same Thing Changes Our Later Minutes No Idea Ten Ten Minutes Never Idea New Know Iowa New Hampshire Caucus Been Years Hampshire Person Same Going Just Happen After Again Then Whole Thing Watching

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me. Jackie Mason

Me Old Dinner Dinner Table Table New Make Knows Audience Does Material Any Getting Difference Stories Anything

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies. Jackie Mason

Comedy Studies Come Calculations Any

If I'm a busboy in Philadelphia, then I have to be careful about what I say. But if I'm a public tycoon like Jerry Seinfeld, and I got a billion dollars in my pocket, he's got to be nuts to wonder or worry about what people are going to think. Jackie Mason

The truth is I'm not at all surprised of the longevity of my career. In fact, I would be surprised if the opposite were true and if my career did not have this longevity because I can't believe people would purposely deprive themselves of such hilarious, meaningful entertainment at these prices. Jackie Mason

Truth Entertainment Truth Is People Hilarious Believe Would Would-Be Fact Purposely Prices True Longevity Because Opposite Were Surprised Did In Fact Deprive Meaningful Themselves Career

There is no way I would ever want to be president for a second. It's much easier to make fun of them on the stage and get paid for it. With all the years of me lampooning the presidents in my act, I know I could never ever want that job. Jackie Mason

I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to learn from. Jackie Mason

Nothing About Had Knew Comedian Comedians Learn Became Rabbi Professional

I have always found myself trying to study and analyze the world around me - not just taking everything for granted and following whatever is popular. Jackie Mason

Myself Me World Whatever Analyze Everything Following Taking Study Around Always Trying Just Granted Popular Found

If you wanted to hear politics, you'd go to Henry Kissinger; you wouldn't go to hear Jackie Mason. The reason I speak about politics is because I know I can get a laugh out of it. Jackie Mason

Politics You Speak Laugh Out About Kissinger Mason Know Because Go Hear Get Jackie Wanted Reason Henry

I didn't emphasize my Jewishness because I wanted to. I just happen to have been raised in a family where everybody happened to talk like this, so why would I talk like somebody else? Jackie Mason

Family Somebody Everybody Else Would Emphasize Like Talk Because Been Just Where Wanted Happen Happened Why Raised

Jackie Mason Quotes

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