457 Jokes Quotes for You to Enjoy

Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys. Bobby Farrelly

Life Love Jokes Heroes Long Real Life Tell About Guys Brunt Well Real Story Them Twins

I was a 6-foot-tall 13-year-old who couldn't play basketball. I moved around all the time as a kid, and at each new school, the coach would say, 'He's the great white hope' - but I couldn't play ball. So my thing was jokes and characters and making fun of myself and being the 6-foot-9 Jewish guy. That was my way into show business. Brad Garrett

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My whole life, I've been telling jokes. Brad Garrett

Life Jokes Telling Been Whole

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them. Brian P. Cleary

You Jokes Old Single Every Corny Okay One Thing Some Perfectly Make Understand Years Lot Get Them Thing

With the wacky jokes that we do on 'Great News,' you do overall still want to be coming from a place of truth with your character because, otherwise, it's just off the walls. Briga Heelan

Truth Great News Character You Jokes Walls Otherwise Overall Because Wacky Still Coming Off Just Want Place Your

When I'm playing comedy, I never do 'jokes.' Sometimes I'll deliver a line in a way I think is more likely to get a laugh, but all the best comedy is played straight. What's funny is the way it hits the world around it or the way it hits the other characters. Bruce McGill

Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes. Buddy Hackett

You Jokes People Three Before Down Enough Punch Punch Line Say Ninety-Nine Ninety-Nine Percent Laugh Telling Percent Voice Pound Delivery Make Line Times Maybe Anything Realize Cocky Right

Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman. Carey Williams

Change Jokes Daughter Tells About Salesman Times Farmer Traveling Now

When somebody says that a comic steals jokes, it's the ultimate betrayal of comedy. Carlos Mencia

Jokes Comedy Somebody Says Betrayal Steals Comic Ultimate

Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair. Carlos Mencia

Me You Jokes Black Joke Unfair Think Dare Telling Totally Something Guy He Soon Nobody Like Calls Redneck Does How Wants Might Jeff Many

I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.' Carlos Mencia

You Jokes Racism Offended Trouble Believe Every Say About Talked How Gotten Race Means Including They Say Imagine

'America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.' It's one of those jokes that doesn't hit people right away, because it's so prevalent that we don't get it. Carlos Mencia

Great Jokes People Country Great Country Those Because Hit America Get Poor Poor People Away Right Right Away Fat

I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy. Carol Burnett

Family Jokes Sometimes Those Written Because Got Doing Were Very Mama Heavy Loved Interesting Little Sketches

My husband jokes that I'll invite people over for dinner and he won't know who they are or where I met them. But in my work world, I've never really been tempted to tell too much of my story. Carrie-Anne Moss

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh. Carrot Top

Jokes People Way Laugh Through Making Fitting Fitting In

I've always littered my songs with jokes. You might need to dig a little deeper to find the humor, but I would totally object to being some kind of distraught personality. I've never tried to attach myself to that. Cass McCombs

Part of why making Pinwheel is so fun, is so exploding with possibility, is that a note, like a photo, can be a container for all kinds of things. It is the perfect social object. Stories, advice, jokes, diatribes, information, memories, facts, advertisements, love letters, grocery lists, and manifestoes can all be put into a note. Caterina Fake

Love Memories Jokes Advice Possibility Photo Kinds Object Perfect Facts Part Put Container Like Advertisement Making Love Letters Lists Stories Information Note Social Exploding Grocery Fun Why Letters Things

I knew how to come up with jokes at someone's expense really fast. Catherine Reitman

Jokes Someone Knew Come How Up Expense Really Fast

I do Twitter, but I'm still not great on it - I'm not good at writing short little jokes, so my Twitter's not really a jokey thing. Cecily Strong

Good Great Jokes Writing Twitter Still Short Little Really Thing

If you're a nerd, just be a nerd. That's way better than a nerd who's trying to be a hipster. And if you are going to tell jokes, don't direct them at other people. Not only is it not funny, but it's also mean. Cecily Strong

Funny You Jokes People Better Just Be Other Way Tell Nerd Direct Only Also Than Trying Going Just Mean Them

There are things you do when you're writing that are so fun to do it's almost like they're private jokes that are amusing to you but no one else is going to enjoy them nearly as much and you worry you're going to have to take them out in the end. Chad Harbach

You step in with the Seth Rogens of the world, you better have some jokes. Charlie Hunnam

You Jokes World Better Some Step

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