633 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him. Joan Rivers

Me Jokes Made Joke Ruined Once Laugh Out Russell Dressing Russell Crowe About Dressing Room Chat He Knocked Make Him Another Go Were Door Wanted Room Poor Show Many Now

Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it look like he just thought of it. Joan Rivers

Saying Good Thought Joke Every He Like Look Comic Making Years Very Same Any Just Good Actor Actor Every Night Night

When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer. Joan Van Ark

You Joke Idiot Become Starts Longer Least Much Village

I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said that it was a joke, it still doesn't go away. Joaquin Phoenix

There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.' Joe Biden

Hope Good Old Joke Everybody Bad Anymore Much Used

Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke. Joe Bob Briggs

Men Joke Club Every Starts Out Almost Venerable Tradition

Dick Gregory used every syllable, every metaphor, every joke, every march, every incarceration, every hour of his life, to embarrass this country into providing a more perfect, perfect union. Joe Morton

Life Joke Country Every Embarrass More Perfect Hour Metaphor His Providing Incarceration Used Union March Syllable

Chris Nolan went through Slamdance a year and a half after us, and he went on to direct 'The Dark Knight.' So the joke now is if you want to make superhero movies, that's where you have to go. Joe Russo

I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts. Joel Kinnaman

Funny Joke Never Comedic Parts Lot Friends Really Played

Here's the thing, with comedy - and I learned this from Will Ferrell - you can't be ashamed. If you're doing comedy, you have to fully commit to the joke. Shame is not part of it. If you act shy or uncomfortable about your body, that makes the audience shy and uncomfortable. And in a comedy you just want them to loosen up and laugh. John C. Reilly

You Comedy Will Joke Will Ferrell Laugh About Shame Uncomfortable Part Learned Loosen Makes Audience Doing Up Commit Just Want Ashamed Them Body Act Your Your Body Fully Thing Here Shy

When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be. John Cleese

You Jokes Comedy Joke Guess Pretty Know Most Doing Been Years Going Much Really Forty Forty Years Even Specific

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side. John Fahey

Death Good Me Thought Made Joke First Other Side Say Joe Would Would-Be John Record Guy Blind Well

I always joke deep down I'm really a teenage girl on the inside. John Searles

Girl Joke Down Teenage Teenage Girl Inside Always Really Deep Deep Down

I tell my audiences today that I served 10 years in Nashville! That's a joke, of course; I was grateful for the work. Bob Ferguson, who produced Connie Smith, Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton, started calling me in. Johnny Gimble

We always joke that our road crew will have to wheelchair us up onstage soon because this is what we do. This is what we love to do. This is what God put us on earth to do until the day we take our last breath. Johnny Van Zant

I like a naturalism to my dialogue and my comedy. I would rather have a few jokes sail by that might be more subtle than have every single joke hit hard. I would rather the comedy come out of character as opposed to feeling forced. Even if you're giving some laughs up for it. Jon Favreau

Character You Jokes Comedy Giving Joke Feeling Single Sail Few Every Out Laughs Would Some Rather More Come Like Forced Dialogue Opposed Up Hit Than Subtle Might Naturalism Hard Even

It doesn't mean you can't discuss important things, but I would never do a joke about cancer, just because I don't think any joke is funny enough to justify upsetting someone who is going through that. Jon Richardson

Funny You Cancer Joke Important Important Things Think Enough Would About Someone Through Never Because Discuss Any Going Just Just Because Upsetting Justify Mean Who Things

I grew up, as I joke around, in the 'People's Republic of Charlestown' in the city of Boston. And I was blessed to be raised right there on Monument Square in Charlestown, and every morning I'd hop on the bus and go on a 45-minute ride out to the suburbs in Brooklyn for elementary school. And I got to have my seat, really, in both worlds. Jonathan Tucker

Morning People Ride School Joke Blessed Every Worlds Monument Out Hop City Brooklyn Boston Both Both Worlds Around Got Go Up Square Grew Republic Suburbs Bus Really Elementary Elementary School Seat Right Raised

I think my ability to joke and laugh about things is because I'm forced to. I've been through a lot of things in my life that, if I didn't make light of it, I would literally keel over. Jonathan Van Ness

Life Light My Life Joke Think Laugh Would Ability About Through Over Make Forced Because Been Lot Literally Keel Things

I just loved jokes so much as a child. I remember wanting to perform at, like... age seven by reading from a kids' joke book, and my parents being like, 'That's not what standup comedy is,' and me being like, 'Not yet it isn't! I'm going to change the game.' Josh Gondelman

An audience who watches my shows knows who I am, knows that right when they think I'm going to make a joke, I'm going to blow something up, or during the worst peril, I'm going to have someone give someone a kiss - it's just going to happen. Joss Whedon

I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.' Joss Whedon

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My first gig ever was writing looplines for a movie that had already been made. You know, writing lines over somebody's back to explain something, to help make a connection, to add a joke, or to just add babble because the people are in frame and should be saying something. Joss Whedon

Saying You People Writing Made Somebody Joke First Add Frame Back Gig Something Had Over Know Make Because Been Lines Just Movie Explain Should Help Connection Ever Babble

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