31 Josh Gondelman Quotes for You to Enjoy

Josh Gondelman

American Author

Born: Jan 15, 1985

Big Comedy Me People Think You

Related authors: F. Scott Fitzgerald Frederick Douglass Helen Keller Henry David Thoreau Joyce Meyer Mark Twain Og Mandino Zig Ziglar

When you're confined to a hospital bed, there aren't many appointments you can make. You await visits from friends and family members. You enjoy the coconut ice cream they smuggle in. You tolerate the erratic and invasive visits of doctors and nurses, hoping that one of them will bring you closer to going home. Josh Gondelman

Home Family You Will Doctors Enjoy Nurses Members Visits Hoping Hospital Make Bed Smuggle Erratic Friends Friends And Family Closer Family Members Going Going Home Confined Ice Ice Cream Them Cream Tolerate Await Many Coconut Bring Appointments

A standup set ends on a buildup of tension and subsequent release for a big laugh. Josh Gondelman

Big Release Laugh Tension Subsequent Ends Standup Set

I don't want to have to be a teacher so I can be a comedian. Josh Gondelman

Teacher Comedian Want

I like to see my parents, and they like it when I'm around. Josh Gondelman

Parents See Like Around

I usually think to do pep talks on Twitter if I'm on the road, at home and my girlfriend is out of town, or if I'm at home and up later then my girlfriend and our dog Bizzy - like, if they're both asleep but I'm kind of wired. Josh Gondelman

Home Dog Think Twitter Our Later Out Kind Pep Girlfriend Both Wired Road Town Like Talks Up Then Asleep

The Super Bowl is an occasion that's really associated with abundance - lots of snacks, parties, spectacle - and so it would be great if there were also some kind of tradition of generosity attached to it as well. Josh Gondelman

I just loved jokes so much as a child. I remember wanting to perform at, like... age seven by reading from a kids' joke book, and my parents being like, 'That's not what standup comedy is,' and me being like, 'Not yet it isn't! I'm going to change the game.' Josh Gondelman

I never assume anyone will see or like things I do, honestly! Josh Gondelman

Will Assume Honestly See Never Like Anyone Things

There are very funny people who aren't good at Twitter and people who are really good on Twitter where that's the best or the only thing they do. There are some people I know that don't write creatively outside of Twitter, but they're so good at Twitter. Josh Gondelman

Funny Best Good People Some People Twitter Funny People Some Only Write Outside Know Very Where The Only Thing Really Who Creatively Thing

I love 'Another Round.' It's Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton's podcast that's through BuzzFeed, and they're real funny and really themselves. And I like it because it's very funny, but it's outside the realm of comedians talking about comedy. Josh Gondelman

Love Funny Comedy About Through Outside Like Comedians Talking Another Because Tracy Real Very Themselves Really Realm Round

'The Rap Year Book' is really great. Shea Serrano wrote it, and it became this huge phenomenon where he sold out everywhere and made the bestseller list just on the strength of his fans on Twitter wanting him to succeed. Josh Gondelman

Strength Great Book Fans Made Year Twitter Sold Everywhere Rap Out Bestseller He Wrote Him Became His Huge List Just Where Wanting Succeed Really Phenomenon

My comedy isn't clean; it's just friendly. So I get asked to do a lot of clean shows. It's like, 'Oh, I have a clean vibe, but I say gross, weird stuff.' It's just, it's very gentle the way I say it. It's not upsetting or jarring to people, because I'm not very aggressive. Josh Gondelman

I appreciate how central religion is in the lives other people, but it has never resonated with me. I imagine this is how lots of people feel about things I love, like rap music or, it turns out, sports. Josh Gondelman

I'm not usually vain about my body. It's like Pennsylvania: The same way the Keystone State comprises Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with not much in between, I've got good legs and shapely eyebrows, and it's kind of a wasteland outside of that. Josh Gondelman

When you're hot, you stride confidently down the street, extending your form to hail a taxi to take you from place to place. My body is designed for squeezing into packed subway cars and apologizing to those whose feet I clumsily step on. Josh Gondelman

You Car Down Stride Those Take Step Hail Hot Feet Squeezing Confidently Form Place Packed Subway Taxi Body Apologizing Your Whose Street Extending Designed

Given that I often wear shorts with a T-shirt, baseball cap, and backpack most days, a crew-neck shirt gives me the appearance of an undercover cop on the way to a sting operation at a summer camp. Josh Gondelman

One great thing about going to a fashion event in the morning, especially in February in New York, is that the other attendees are dressed less like models themselves. A winter coat, it turns out, is a great equalizer. Josh Gondelman

Fashion Great Morning Winter Other Out Dressed About February New Like Great Thing Equalizer Models York Going New York Themselves Turns Less Coat Event Thing

Fact about me - I love jumping over/into things. Josh Gondelman

Love Me About Fact Jumping Things

'The Big Lebowski' gave me my first false sense of intellectual superiority. Josh Gondelman

Me First Big Sense Gave Superiority False False Sense Intellectual

Often, when I leave the house, I dress for comfort. On my better days, I shoot for 'matching.' Josh Gondelman

Better Dress Days House Comfort Matching Leave Shoot Often

My childhood friends and I would have been featured in 'The Achievers: The Story of the Big Lebowski Fans,' but I never signed the release form we received from the producers. I am both proud and ashamed of this fact. Josh Gondelman

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