108 Drunk Quotes for You to Enjoy

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it. Lyndon B. Johnson

You Man Pour Drunk Mouth Sick Take Open He Bourbon Without Quart His Get Getting Going Getting Drunk Hold Little

There is a communion of more than our bodies when bread is broken and wine drunk. M. F. K. Fisher

Broken Wine Drunk Our More Than Bread Bodies Communion

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid. Marcus Brigstocke

I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he'll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up. Melissa McCarthy

Me Will Drive Drunk Party Pants Top Backseat Kids Embarrass Threaten Rip Pretty My Friend He Hot Come Friend Up Get Tube Just Show Dad Core

Sometimes if you get 'em too drunk they don't pay no attention to what you're doin' anyways, so you might as well just do old songs. But if you get one that's paying attention, sometimes we'll do some new material. Merle Haggard

You Sometimes Old Drunk Pay Old Songs Too Some Songs Attention New Well Material Doin New Material Get Just Might Paying

The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years. Michael Caine

Best Drunk Research Years Being Actor Playing British

Don't be getting sloppy drunk and telling them dirty jokes. Mr. T

Jokes Drunk Telling Sloppy Dirty Getting Them

I have a responsibility, and it's something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. Nicole Richie

Responsibility Drunk Single Lost Every Would Something Could Driving Wrong Single Person Person Did Loved Loved One Personally If I Could Apologize

Being skint, drunk, paranoid - no, I don't wish that for myself. Pete Doherty

Myself Wish Drunk Paranoid Being

Our challenge is to stop people from driving drunk. Punishing them afterwards doesn't bring back the victim or make the family feel better. The idea is to stop the DWI before it happens. Pete Gallego

Family People Better Challenge Drunk Before Victim Back Our Punishing Driving Idea Feel Make Stop Happens Afterwards Them Bring

A drunk truck driver ran over me. I was in a Volkswagen. It was horrible. It sounds like a cliche, but anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I give a lot of credit to my dad, who was a very strong guy. Robert David Hall

I've been known to turn up drunk at triathlons and do very well. I'm more of a heat-of-the-moment type of guy. A friend will tell me about something coming up, maybe that weekend, and usually not an abundance of thought goes into my doing it. Ryan Kwanten

I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk. Sally Kellerman

Drunk Always Playing

Ray would be in trouble, he would get drunk, he would try and kill J.R on three different occasions, he would make mistakes with financial affairs, and have various human problems, but he didn't have any mean bones in his body! That was a little bit of what the show was about. Steve Kanaly

Financial Try Problems Three Trouble Drunk Mistakes Bit Would Would-Be About Various He Ray Make Occasions Affairs His Get Any Human Different Little Mean Little Bit Body Show Bones

I am the person who is a mother against drunk driver. Tracey Gold

Mother Drunk Driver Am Person Against Who

The reason that last-ditch political maneuvering has become business as usual in Washington is that the actors involved are drunk on blame and are convinced that the voting public is, too. They count on outrage, thereby spreading numbness. They cherish the prospect of partisan fury, thereby inspiring nonpartisan disgust. Walter Kirn

Business Blame Voting Political Drunk Become Too Fury Outrage Inspiring Count Prospect Involved Partisan Spreading Cherish Disgust Public Convinced Reason Thereby Usual Washington Actor

The great security of all is to eat little and to drink nothing that intoxicates. He that eats till he is full is little better than a beast, and he that drinks till he is drunk is quite a beast. William Cobbett

Great Better Beast Drunk Nothing Security Eat Eats Drink Drinks He Till Than Quite Little Full

I'd sing for any friend's happiness. I don't have to get drunk to do so. Yo Yo Honey Singh

Happiness Drunk Sing Friend Get Any

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