51 Stephen Colbert Quotes for You to Enjoy

Stephen Colbert

American Comedian

Born: May 13, 1964

Being Comedy Love Me People You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way. Stephen Colbert

Teacher Day Every Day School Girl Every Way Would Write Had Almost Almost Every Day Crush Like She Him Real Friends Short Where Different Short Story Story Little Used Different Way Her Things

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does. Stephen Colbert

Love News Does Huge

My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close. Stephen Colbert

Mom Me Made Kid Kind Toward She Because Led Very Close Wanted Interested Younger Acting Actress

All I can do is today and tomorrow and have some idea of what we're doing next week. That's all I can worry about. Stephen Colbert

Today Tomorrow Worry Some About Week Idea Doing Next

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions. Stephen Colbert

Hate Everyone Blow Actor Illusions

I like to do things that are publicly embarrassing, to feel the embarrassment touch me and sink into me and then be gone. I like getting on elevators and singing too loudly in that small space. The feeling you feel is almost like a vapor. The discomfort and the wishing that it would end that comes around you. Stephen Colbert

Me You Space Feeling Singing Gone Too Embarrassing Embarrassment Would Touch Small Almost Feel Like Wishing Around Discomfort Sink End Loudly Getting Then Publicly Things

Make no mistake: I love women. I'm married to one, I was birthed by one, and I played one in my high school production of 'Romeo and Juliet.' No one else could fit into the bodice. Stephen Colbert

Love Mistake Women School Else Married High High School Could No-One Make Make No Mistake Fit Juliet Romeo Romeo And Juliet Production Played

I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian. Stephen Colbert

Comedian Just

I started off at the Second City in Chicago... It's an improvisational theater that ostensibly does social and political satire, but when I was there, we generally didn't. We did character work, and we did just the silliest things we could think of. We weren't all that concerned with, you know, changing the world through mime. Stephen Colbert

Work Character You Satire World Political Think Mime Changing Changing The World City Silliest Could Through Generally Know Concerned Does Were Off Chicago Did Improvisational Just Theater Social Things Second Started Second City

When I got to 'The Daily Show,' they asked me to have a political opinion. It turned out that I had one, but I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices. Stephen Colbert

Daily Me Political Liberal Out Had Until Comedic Make Opinion Got How Opposed Passionate Quite Realize Turned Asked Successful Choices Show Daily Show Necessarily

Who really wants to be themselves when they're teenagers? Stephen Colbert

Teenagers Wants Themselves Really Who

I liked comedy as a kid. When I was a kid, I'd go to sleep to, like, Bill Cosby albums every night. I'd listen to 'Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow... Right!' and 'Wonderfulness,' which are two of his most famous albums. Then the next night, I'd flip them over, 'cause it was the old stackable turntable. Stephen Colbert

Funny Comedy Cause Old Every Kid Cosby Over Like Liked Most Fellow Go His Very Listen Famous Which Them Then Next Bill Bill Cosby Turntable Flip Right Albums Every Night Night Two Sleep

I started as a straight actor. I'd go onstage, and I'd think, 'Wow, this is the only thing I want to work really hard at. I will rehearse fifty times on a single scene; I don't care - I'll do it again.' Stephen Colbert

My father always wanted to be 'Col-bear.' He lived in the same town as his father, and his father didn't like the idea of the name with the French pronunciation. So my father said to us, 'Do what you want. You're not going to offend anybody.' And he was dead long before I made my decision. Stephen Colbert

You Decision Father Made Long Before He Idea Name Town Like Dead French Said Always His Offend Same Going Anybody Want Wanted Us Lived

I love 'Sunday in the Park with George.' I saw that when I was just, just starting theater school, and I remember singing 'Finishing the Hat' or at least reading the lyrics to 'Finishing the Hat' and other songs from 'Sunday in the Park with George' to my mom to try to explain why I wanted to be an artist. Stephen Colbert

Love Mom Remember School Try Sunday Singing Reading Other Lyrics Saw Hat Park Finishing Songs Least George Artist Just Wanted Theater Explain Why Starting

The letters that say 'I'm getting the messages you're sending me through the television screen' are not great. But those are few and far between, thank God. I get wonderful letters, and people send me artwork. Stephen Colbert

The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news 'at' you. Stephen Colbert

News You Promise Feel Read Anyone

The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There's a lot of supposed tween comedy on TV that isn't particularly funny, but it's got a lot of laugh track. And I go, 'Please don't watch that. Please just watch something that's actually funny.' Stephen Colbert

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