51 Stephen Colbert Quotes for You to Enjoy

Stephen Colbert

American Comedian

Born: May 13, 1964

Being Comedy Love Me People You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the furthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness: a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say 'no.' But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow. Stephen Colbert

Wisdom Saying Hurt World Will Rejection Say Furthest Disappoint Learn Because Blindness Always How Yes Begins Afraid Anything Us Cynicism Cynics Grow Thing Things

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself. Stephen Colbert

Love You Yourself Money Will Community Only Friends Your Serve

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty. Stephen Colbert

Matter Perception Everything Facts Certainty

Reality has a well-known liberal bias. Stephen Colbert

Reality Liberal Bias

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids. Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche and then applies an antibiotic cream. You gotta keep it away from your eyes. Stephen Colbert

Best You Eyes Laughter National Down Medicine Our Say Would Entire More Steroids Gotta Antibiotics Than Psyche Regime Cream Then Your Swelling Keep Away Brings

I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express. Stephen Colbert

Visa Status Status Quo Accept American American Express Quo Express

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am? Stephen Colbert

Inspirational Time Myself Stuff Like Make Make Up Am Up Than Used Cool Professional Cooler Found Why Why Not Bio

There's a degree of narcissism involved in anything in show business. I mean, you can't do it without a healthy ego. Why would you want anybody to listen to you? Stephen Colbert

You Business Ego Degree Narcissism Healthy Would Involved Without Listen Anybody Want Anything Mean Show Show Business Why

In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter. Stephen Colbert

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars. Stephen Colbert

Dollars Candidate Currently Order Million Million Dollars Need

We have this idea in our minds that there's this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics - not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course there isn't. Stephen Colbert

Politics Good Religion Church Separation Think State Our Minds Church And State Good Thing Idea Also Course America Just Which Extend Thing

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character. Stephen Colbert

Character Me Satire Feelings Mouth Interview Worthy Something Only Had Because Boxing Gloves Got Person Going Happened Happens Translate Then Assassin Satirist Ever

The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you. Stephen Colbert

You Grief Own Think About Size Interesting Interesting Thing Thing

I can't prove it, but I can say it. Stephen Colbert

Say Prove

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart. Stephen Colbert

Heart Books Fact Like

You can't really be passionately moderate. It's like wearing an 'Extra Medium' - it doesn't exist. Stephen Colbert

You Extra Medium Wearing Like Passionately Exist Moderate Really

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character. Stephen Colbert

Character Wonderful Part

Stephen Colbert Quotes

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