Lewis Black Quotes

Lewis Black
Lewis Black
American Comedian
Born: Aug 30, 1948
Funny Me People Think Time You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it! Lewis Black
Men Stupid Live Wrap Layer Absolutely Without Got Rockets Fix Ozone
If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?' Lewis Black
Government You Book Harry Harry Potter System Potter Pick Around Going Want Base Why Why Not
Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and wonder: 'Did I have a thought today?' You'll have to go to your 'Thought' app! Lewis Black
Today Time You Thought Every Every Time Point Part Bed Go Brain Wonder Get Did Dies Where Use Your App
As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic. Lewis Black
More Outside Comic Gets Psychotic
One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich. Lewis Black
Me You Money Tomorrow Rich Being Rich One Thing About Take Know Still Going Being Thing
A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!' Lewis Black
People Space Father Three Own Monkey Took Run Mars Cable Sons Were Dollars Send Space Program Gonna Billion Billion Dollars Company Dad Start Two Program
I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape. Lewis Black
Think Thinking Starts Some About Something More Onstage Shape Take Idea Talk Until Get Just Then Start
I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track. Lewis Black
Prayer Country Politicians Back Our Roberts Track Doing Get Oral Need
Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve. Lewis Black
God Me Man Woman Hate Pay Other Alimony Sacred Divorce Between Institution Steve Wanted Who Eve Each Serious Adam
My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School. Something, somehow, didn't get passed on to my generation. Lewis Black
Generation School Parents First Year Drama Drama School Married Minutes About Somehow My Generation Something Ten Ten Minutes Yale Passed Were Years Get
My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform. Lewis Black
People Problem Sure Always Understands Been Authority Anybody Uniform
I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else. Lewis Black
Looking Think Else Something Something Else More Touring New Comics Lot York New York Being Interested Really Certainly Who
You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work. Lewis Black
Work Politics You Big Everybody Circus Go Wakes Up Goes Realize
I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough. Lewis Black
Me Waiting Big Enough Would Some Beach Point Like Call Big Enough Little Them Ask Keep Play Thing Pebble
I'm a Jew. Lewis Black
Jew
Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now. Lewis Black
Stage Some More Yelled Yelling Louder Then Even Now Started Basically Kept
I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked. Lewis Black
Father Kid Course Because Where Golf Golf Course Little Worked Across Lived Street Started Playing
Political audiences are not fun. Lewis Black
Political Audiences Fun
I don't buy the 'at 60 it's great to have kids' thing. I don't buy the line that has been thrown down - 'You can have a kid at any time.' That doesn't mean you should. Lewis Black
Buy Time Great You Down Kid Kids Has-Been Thrown Line Been Any Mean Should Thing
What I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of social skills, but there are those who end up in comedy because they don't know how to socialize. I don't want to deal with that group. Lewis Black
Comedy Sense Nice Group Those Some Percent Know Because Deal How Comics End Up Want Social Skills Who Social Skills Found Socialize Career
It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff. Lewis Black
Political Pay Folks Stuff Yeah Question Privilege Taxes
What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things through a sequester. What does that word have to do with budgeting? It's like if you have a family budget and go, 'We really don't know what to take out economically from the budget, so we're going to whack out protein for this week.' Lewis Black
Family You Word Out Week Through Take Adult Economically Budget Like Budgeting Know Protein Does Go Whack Going Decide Really Things
One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger. Lewis Black
Anger Comedy Nothing Faster Release About Tension Than Interesting Interesting Things Creates Things
The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine. Lewis Black
You Comedy Political Long Laugh Fine Fine Line Line
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest. Lewis Black
Funny
The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope. Lewis Black
Hope Me Right Place Minds Gives Hearts American Place Public American Public Right Core
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