Kumail Nanjiani Quotes

Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail Nanjiani
Pakistani Comedian
Born: Feb 21, 1978
Like Love Me People Time You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
I started doing standup because of Hugh Grant's best-man speech in 'Four Weddings,' which is basically a standup routine. Kumail Nanjiani
Weddings Because Doing Hugh Which Grant Standup Routine Four Started Basically Speech
I never decided I wanted to be an actor. I just started doing standup because I love standup. Everything else has sort of been these tiny steps leading to this. Kumail Nanjiani
Love Else Everything Everything Else Never Leading Steps Sort Because Doing Been Tiny Just Wanted Decided Standup Actor Started
A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing. Kumail Nanjiani
People Social Media Other Seems Like Devolved Lot Yelling Times Just Social Really Each Media
I was actually looking at the poster for 'Tarzan,' and I was thinking how abs look so different now. These are not your grandma's abs. They go so deep and so sharp now. Kumail Nanjiani
Looking Thinking Poster Sharp Look How Go Tarzan Different Grandma Your Deep Now Actually
I loved the Oscars, and I had V.H.S. tapes for the Oscars, and I used to watch them over and over. There was probably one year where I watched it, like, 20 times or something. Kumail Nanjiani
Year Something Had Over Like Tapes Times Where Loved Them Used Watch Watched Oscars
TV requires a lot more patience. No one's ever like, 'I gotta get up at 5 A.M. and write my stand-up!' It's an easy life. With 'Silicon Valley,' it's long hours and very unglamorous. Kumail Nanjiani
Life Patience Long Valley TV Easy Silicon Silicon Valley More Long Hours Write Like Hours Gotta Lot Up Very Get Requires Ever
I have a reward-and-punishment system: If I have done this much work, then I can play video games this long. It gives my day structure. Kumail Nanjiani
Work Video Games Day Long System Structure Gives Done Video Then Much Games Play
Most of my exposure to American pop culture was through this weird prism of 'Mad' magazine. Kumail Nanjiani
Culture Mad Magazine Through Weird Most Prism American Pop Pop Culture Exposure
I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules. If you're funny offstage, you can figure out a way to be funny onstage. Kumail Nanjiani
Funny You Joke Stage Saw Way Rules Out No Rules Could Onstage Write Know If I Could Figure
I remember my jaw would hurt because I wasn't used to speaking English all the time. Like how, even if you exercise, you'll play kickball one day, and then you're like, 'Wait, I run, but new places are hurting because I don't use my muscles this way.' My mouth was not used to making these sounds. Kumail Nanjiani
Time Day You Hurt Remember Wait Mouth Way One Day Run Would Hurting New Like Because Exercise How Making Sounds New Places Places Then Jaw Use Used Speaking English Even Play Muscles
I had this very strict rule when I began auditioning that I wasn't gonna do a thicker accent, because it was like, 'I can't tell if it's supposed to be funny because he talks funny.' And now I feel like there are certain characters that I could play that could involve doing a thicker accent, as long as it's specific to that character. Kumail Nanjiani
Funny Character Strict Long Rule Tell Characters Could Had He Feel Like Supposed Involve Accent Talks Because Auditioning Doing Began Very Gonna Certain Now Thicker Specific Play
My parents aren't the demographic for a lot of things I do. If I did a stand-up show, and I saw 62-year-old Pakistanis in the crowd, I'd be like, 'I'm gonna bomb.' Kumail Nanjiani
Parents Saw Crowd Like Demographic Lot Did Gonna Show Bomb Things
Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was geographically. I had visited once. I thought of it as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich, and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue. Compared to Pakistan, the streets are paved with gold. Kumail Nanjiani
Crazy You Happy Thought Sense Rich Living Everybody Once Everywhere Visited Varied Had Exciting Stuff Untrue How Huge America Gold Where Place Paved Compared Pakistan Streets
I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s. My wife knows everything about music, and I try and get her to educate me, but it's just not part of my DNA. Kumail Nanjiani
Music Me Appreciation Try Listening Wife Everything About Part Until Knows Because Real Still Educate Get Just Really Her Start
The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption. Kumail Nanjiani
Freedom Corruption Religious Religious Freedom Scary Come Because Always Lot Very America Place Poor Plan Pakistan Violence
There was one week where I got mistaken for Hasan Minhaj, who is on 'The Daily Show;' Kunal Nayyar, who's on 'Big Bang Theory;' and Karan Soni of 'Ghostbusters.' This was one week. Kumail Nanjiani
Daily Big Week Mistaken Big Bang Got Bang Where Show Theory Who Daily Show
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