33 Elayne Boosler Quotes for You to Enjoy

Elayne Boosler

American Comedian

Born: Aug 18, 1952

Me Money People Think Year You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.' Elayne Boosler

Thankful History Peace Key Safety Car Mind Important Community Peace Of Mind Lock Delete Invented Computers Most House Box Am Private The Most Important Order Deposit Boat Bike Your Sanity

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty. Elayne Boosler

Life Fashion You Dog Hair Philosophy Empty Covered Your

My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning. Elayne Boosler

Congress Think Too Our Easy Guns About Only Point Consumer Bought Stunning America Get Much Product Belief Actually

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. Elayne Boosler

You Hunting Know Sport Maybe Your Rounds Deer Need

I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better, is palpable and moving. There is true caring, sharing, and refreshingly naive hope. Elayne Boosler

I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.' Elayne Boosler

Myself Me Woman Cats Money Will Enough Saves Saving Enough Money Minded Flying Never Cheap Taking Make Make A Difference Said Always Dogs Cameroon Six Difference Rescue Flight Four

When the sun comes up, I have morals again. Elayne Boosler

Sun Morals Up Again

Horse racing is waning in popularity. Elayne Boosler

Horse Horse Racing Racing Popularity

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? Elayne Boosler

Great You Money Giving AIDS Television Only Could Preachers Get

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy. Elayne Boosler

Silence Key Comedy Own Listen Your

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying. Elayne Boosler

Home You Nothing Every Direct More Write Like Votes Audience Go Go Home Movie Produce Satisfying Every Night Night

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. Elayne Boosler

Funny Truth News Thought Pure Elsewhere Entertaining Ability Able Only Through Had Raw Make Comics Were Off Comment Intelligent Decade Truths Place Social Newspapers Pages Pertinent Found Actual Last Last Decade Pull

Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.' Elayne Boosler

Morning Wake Up Breakfast Recipes Say Eat Guys Like Wake Up Expect Want Place Toast Your Things

When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star. Elayne Boosler

Day You Comedy Job Free Country Big Everyone Had Day Job Became Big Break Got Comics Were Years Up Maybe Break Clubs Little Then Worked Your Whole Star Growing Growing Up

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone. Elayne Boosler

Funny Extremely Running Never Had Head Said Always Commentary Anyone

I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about. Elayne Boosler

Opportunity Joke Pretty About Equal Equal Opportunity Issues

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working. Elayne Boosler

Me You Word Baton East Cities East Coast Minneapolis Bother Never Comedian Household Where Working Coast Popular Rouge Imagined

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession. Elayne Boosler

Funny Remember Job Kid Never Comedians Understood Choice Profession Enjoying

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