Chelsea Handler Quotes

Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
American Comedian
Born: Feb 25, 1975
About Me Myself People Think You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life. Chelsea Handler
Life Love Friendship Happy Happy Life Facet Underlying
Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift. Chelsea Handler
Everything Pretend Supposed Permanent Shift Move
Some people have a phobia of midgets. They're, like, scared of them. I have the opposite - I see them, and I want to hold them down, cuddle them, be like, 'Come here, you little nugget. Who's your mommy now?' So cute! Chelsea Handler
You People Some People Cute Down Phobia Scared See Some Come Like Opposite Want Hold Little Them Your Mommy Now Here
I've always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I'd be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense. Chelsea Handler
Me People Personality No Friends Girl Big Group Kid Consistently Would Bored Had Instead Because Always Got Friends Very Behaved Intense Then Cool Tons
If you're really looking to hurt somebody's feelings, just break up with them. Chelsea Handler
You Hurt Somebody Feelings Looking Up Just Break Break Up Them Really
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. Chelsea Handler
People Shine Other About Because Makes Very Us Much Brighter Letting
Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life. Chelsea Handler
Life You Long Think Too About More Go Go For It Lot Anything Fun Even
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them. Chelsea Handler
Strange Eyes Charismatic Pretty Angelina Jolie Take Weird Brad Brad Pitt Off Pitt Them Your Hard Her
There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively. Chelsea Handler
Racism People Joke Able About Something True Between Identify Making Going Difference Should Comparatively
Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun. Chelsea Handler
You Been Midget Fun Sued Ever
I like being able to, you know, pack up and leave the country and hop on a plane and go wherever I want and stay wherever and bring my friends with me and bring my family on vacation. That's amazing. Chelsea Handler
Family Me You Amazing Country Hop Stay Able Like Know Leave Go Up Friends Being Want Wherever Pack Plane Vacation Bring
If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't. Chelsea Handler
Family You Immediate Member See Want Whether Show Extended
Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do. Chelsea Handler
Me You Entertainment Words World Somebody Else Out Would Entertainment World Could Nobody Most Narcissistic Microphone Just Act Stand Thing Interrupt
I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal. Chelsea Handler
Marriage Think About Goal End-All
Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan? Chelsea Handler
Great Game Sense Of Humor Humor Sense Married Pretty Great Sense She Sure Anyone Mean Plan Game Plan Ridiculous Her Mariah Carey Honest
I wanted to be famous. It's embarrassing to admit, but I came out to L.A. thinking it would happen in no time. I thought, 'Once they see me, they'll be so glad I came.' I always had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence about what was going to happen to me. Chelsea Handler
Time Me Thought Thinking Once Embarrassing Out Would See Admit About Glad No Time Had Self-Confidence Always Came Going Famous Wanted Happen Ridiculous Amount
There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off. Chelsea Handler
Day You Every Day People Every Interview Slot Wears Some Allure Because Off Celebrities Interesting Really Who Fun Fill
It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself. Chelsea Handler
Life Time Myself Me Long Long Time Living Else Dream Someone True Over Come Because Been Portray
I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared. Chelsea Handler
Today School Half Too Tortured Scared Days Like Go Were Bullied Much Deserved
I didn't become a comedian to work this hard. Chelsea Handler
Work Become Comedian Hard
I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense. Chelsea Handler
Love Joke Stupid Sense Something Make Any
The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting. Chelsea Handler
You Challenge Britney Britney Spears About Over Talking Fresh Very Interesting Hard Spears Keep
Every time I had a book come out, I'm like, 'Is it going to be number one?' Chelsea Handler
Time Book Every Every Time Out Had Come Like Going Number
I don't think I'm a good host. I'm not a good host. I'm terrible at hosting. That's my problem. Chelsea Handler
Good Problem Think Host Hosting Terrible
Seeing your parents fall apart is really rough. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Chelsea Handler
Parents Wish Fall Seeing Anybody Apart Really Your Rough
You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it? Chelsea Handler
Good You People Somebody Nice Else Would Magazine Could Weekly Consumers Like Know Look Obviously Because Real Surgery Doing Go Cover Want Stories Which Us Really Us Weekly Used Plastic Plastic Surgery Star Why
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