634 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money. Tom Lehrer

Money Space Moon Made Joke Year Clown Spending One Of The Things Record Some About More Proudest Sending Space Program Against To The Moon Manned Then Billion Whole Even Now Waste Things Program

People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh. Tommy Chong

Best You People Try Joke Own Ownership Chaplin Mine Laugh Tells Charlie Charlie Chaplin Tripped Guy Put Stumbled Like Know Go Oh Mean Nowhere Thing Things

In Europe, they travel a lot lighter. I always joke that my Indonesian passengers bring their house and their neighbor's house. Tony Fernandes

Travel Joke Neighbor Lighter House Always Passengers Lot Europe Bring

When I got on tour in 2014, I was hitting a slice off the tee. No joke. Yeah, I had plenty of power, and I knew how to play the curve, but I was a tour player who was watching his tee shots peel 30, 40 yards to the right. Tony Finau

It's OK to joke about yourself and have self-perspective, but, like, when you constantly put yourself down to get other people to tell you you're good, that annoys me. Have confidence! Tove Lo

Good Me You Confidence Yourself People Joke Down Other OK Tell Constantly About Put Like Annoys Get

With anything you put out there, you're going to offend somebody, but most people get that it's a joke, that I'm playing a character, and that I'm actually making fun of what I'm saying by saying it. Trevor Moore

Saying Character You People Somebody Joke Out Put Most Making Offend Get Going Anything Fun Actually Playing

Chennai is one of the scariest crowds to face. Everyone looks so conservative, but once you crack the first joke, they are so appreciatively loud that they will hit you with a laugh that will scare you stiff and yet give you energy. Chennaiites give me the loudest laughs; it's the coolest crowd to perform for. Vir Das

Me You Conservative Will Face Joke First Loudest Energy Everyone Once Laugh Laughs Scare Scariest Give Give Me Crowd Crowds Perform Looks Stiff Loud Hit Crack Coolest

Fashion is kinda a joke. I don't get too bogged down in the clothes. For me, it's one big art project, just a canvas to show that fashion should have a brand which has someone behind it who cares about different contexts. Social things. Virgil Abloh

Art Fashion Me Joke Big Clothes Down Too Cares Project Kinda About Someone Brand Get Behind Just Different Which Canvas Social Should Show Bogged Who Who Cares Things

I want to write the reparations joke that makes people go, 'Yay! I'm so happy!' It's easy to go onstage and just make fun of all the 'isms' instead, but we can't all be Jeff Dunham. Although that pays very well... it pays way better to be Jeff Dunham than it ever paid to be George Carlin or Lenny Bruce. W. Kamau Bell

Happy People Better Joke Carlin Way Easy Bruce Onstage Write Instead Well Make Although Makes Reparations Go George George Carlin Very Than Just Want Lenny Lenny Bruce Paid Pays Fun Jeff Ever