Nikki Glaser Quotes

Nikki Glaser
Nikki Glaser
American Comedian
Born: Jun 1, 1984
Comedy Life Me People Think You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment. Nikki Glaser
Fear Abandonment Says Scared Stems Always Been Confrontation Therapist
I went and hung out at a foot fetish party, and I knew that was a very popular fetish to have, but I didn't realize how amazing it would be to have it. Nikki Glaser
Amazing Party Hung Out Would Would-Be Foot Knew How Very Fetish Realize Popular
I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. Nikki Glaser
Birthday Me Celebrate Thomas Only Rob Like Know Because Just Acknowledge
I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. Nikki Glaser
Funny High Would Someone Rather Self-Esteem Much Less
I just realized I have probably spent more time in a strip club than Rihanna has, and that is saying a lot because she goes a lot! Nikki Glaser
Saying Time Club Spent Strip Rihanna More She Because Lot Than Goes Just Realized
We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not like a sugar daddy thing. It's like financial domination, or something like that. These guys just want to give you money. Nikki Glaser
You Women Money Financial Sugar Spending About Give Something Guys Like Know Learned Domination Fetish Just Where Want Daddy Thing
I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.' Nikki Glaser
Me Facebook Money Say Guy Could Had He Like Course Years Just Want Anything Asking Really PayPal Why
I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. Nikki Glaser
Good Relationship You Woman Animal Seen Picture Single Think Kind Never Always Been Show
I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set. Nikki Glaser
You World Remember Will Half Thinking Validated About Feel Like Another Years Years Ago Get Getting Just Special Need Set
I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I'm so glad I'm not having kids. Nikki Glaser
College Kids Having Glad Anymore
I just want to open people's eyes to different things. Nikki Glaser
Eyes People Open Just Different Want Different Things Things
I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. Nikki Glaser
Life Grateful Enough Find Like Know Because Did Want Really Lucky Found Second Early
It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them. Nikki Glaser
Life Success Me Business Girl My Life Other Strikes Some Pretty Never Support Comedians Fellow Attribute Felt Female How Than Interesting Them Much Cool Each
Nothing really shocks me anymore. Nikki Glaser
Me Nothing Shocks Anymore Really
When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried about how we looked, and so was the network. Nikki Glaser
Comedy Lost Live Think Worried About Network Looked Because Always Got How Were Lot Did
A lot of being a woman in this business is about how you look... That's not why we're even in this business; that's not what people want from us. We're valuable because we're funny and because we have a voice and a point of view. Nikki Glaser
Funny You Business Woman People Valuable About Voice Point Point Of View Look Because How Lot Being Want Us View Even Why
I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. Nikki Glaser
Once Constantly Knew Got Material Wanted Working
A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. Nikki Glaser
Me Thought Degree College Important Fluent Easiest Would Would-Be College Degree Picked Because Very Them English
I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on. Nikki Glaser
You Perspective Nice Out Find No-One Stuff Like Call Feminist Hit Act
I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other cities that I've worked. Nikki Glaser
Time Comedy Other Out Cities City My Time Scenes Both Had Splitting Between Louis Than St. Louis Sensibilities Which Worked Kansas Kansas City Started
My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that I don't want to stop doing makes you mad, I don't need to be with you. Bye!' And then he'd leave me. Forever. Nikki Glaser
Angry Me You Say Mad Logic Could He Well Makes Boyfriend Leave Doing Forever Get Stop Want Then Used Thing Need Bye
Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her and laughing would be incredible. Nikki Glaser
Comedy Down Incredible Favorite Laughing Favorite Thing Would Would-Be She Heard Sitting Reason Sarah Ever Her Thing Speech
I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval. Nikki Glaser
People Ugly Feeling Healthy Sister Think Approval Out Insecure Had Good-Looking Since Genetic Like Self-Esteem Looks Deal Always Comic Got Model Child Screwed Poor Why Deeply Need
That's the compliment I get most often - 'You guys are so honest.' Nikki Glaser
You Compliment Guys Most Get Often You Guys Honest
Temping is the worst. I would rather starve and be homeless than nanny or temp again. Nikki Glaser
Starve Worst Would Rather Nanny Than Again Homeless
Someone told me I looked like a young Tonya Harding recently, as if 'young' would soften the blow. Nikki Glaser
Me Young Soften Would Someone Like Looked Blow Recently
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