51 Maz Jobrani Quotes for You to Enjoy

Maz Jobrani

American Comedian

Born: Feb 26, 1972

Comedy Me People Think Time You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

I saw the discrimination that was happening towards Middle Easterners, Muslims and other brown people who had nothing to do with 9/11. It suddenly felt like a duty of mine to talk about some of the crazy things that were going on and make fun of how stupid it was. Maz Jobrani

Crazy People Stupid Duty Nothing Other Saw Mine Muslims Some About Brown Had Towards Like Talk Make Felt How Were Discrimination Going Middle Happening Crazy Things Who Fun Suddenly Things

When you're a stand-up comic, you live and die by what you say on stage. There's no director or writer or producer who can tell you what to say and not to say. Once in a while, a club owner will ask a comic to work clean, or not say something, but that's few and far between. Maz Jobrani

Work You Director Will Few Stage Club Live Once Say Tell Something Clean Writer Between Comic Die Owner While Far Ask Producer Stand-Up Comic Who

The way we censor in America is the dollar. That's who censors. Maz Jobrani

Way Dollar America Censor Who

Anyone who's gotten their passport in America will tell you, when you get it, it still says what country you were born in. So I remember getting my American passport. I was like, 'Woo-hoo! I'm going to travel.' And I opened it up. It said, 'Born in Iran.' I'm like, 'Oh, come on, man!' Maz Jobrani

You Travel Man Remember Will Country Says Tell Born Opened Come Like Said Gotten Still Were Iran Passport Up America Get American Getting Going Oh Anyone

I've always had a foot in everything. As a kid, I was active in sports and theater. Now, I'm learning I have to focus a bit. I'm trying to get to next projects, like writing a screenplay. Once that comes together, I could put my mind to another book - maybe a fun kids' book. Maz Jobrani

Together Sports Learning Book Writing Mind Focus Active Everything Once Projects Bit Kid Kids Could Foot Had Put Like Another Always Get Trying Maybe Screenplay Theater Next Fun Now

The first time I performed at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles, I was in the back of the room doing vocal exercises. 'Me-me-me, my-my-my, mo-mo-mo.' And I'm looking around, and no one else is doing it. I'm like, 'They must have done it before they came to the club.' I came to realize that I was an idiot. Maz Jobrani

Time Comedy First Looking Idiot Before Club Else Back Must Angeles Vocal No-One Performed Like Around Exercises First Time Doing Los Came Los Angeles Done Store Room Realize

I thought, 'Oh, acting is going to be great - I get to play different parts.' And then these auditions started coming up for terrorist, terrorist, terrorist, and I'm going, 'Whoa, what's this about?' Maz Jobrani

Great Thought Whoa About Parts Terrorist Auditions Coming Up Get Going Oh Different Then Different Parts Acting Play Started

I jokingly say that the enemies are children, you know. I always say, if you have young kids, your whole goal from the moment they wake up is to make them tired. It's exhausting. Anybody who's got kids knows what I'm talking about. Maz Jobrani

Tired You Wake Up Enemies Young Say Kids About Know Make Knows Talking Always Got Exhausting Goal Wake Up Anybody Children Young Kids Them Your Moment Whole

Most comics point out what everyone else is thinking but hadn't thought of verbalizing. I guess, in a way, that makes most comics seers. It just depends in what category - some choose to be the seers of relationships, some are seers of racial issues, and some are seers of political issues. Maz Jobrani

I've basically grown up in America. Even if Iran were to change, I wouldn't see myself moving there. That feeling exists for my mother and people of her generation. They say, 'Hopefully, one day.' Maz Jobrani

Myself Day Change Generation People Mother Feeling Say One Day Hopefully See Were Iran Exists Up America Moving Even They Say Grown Grown-Up Her Basically

I'm not saying that I'm on some crusade to change people's minds. I'm just doing what I do. I'm a comedian, I'm trying to be funny... I think when they see a comedy show with an Iranian and an Egyptian and two Palestinians, I think they go, 'Oh wow, these guys are just like us.' Maz Jobrani

Funny Saying Change People Comedy Think Minds Wow See Some Guys Crusade Like Comedian Doing Go Iranian Trying Oh Egyptian Just Us Show Palestinians Two

I was at UC Berkeley as an undergrad when my father lost a lot of money in real estate investments in Northern California. He wanted a change of pace, so in the early '90s, my family moved to L.A., right in the middle of Tehrangeles. It was a culture shock for me. Maz Jobrani

Family Me Change Culture Money Real Estate Father Lost Berkeley He Investments California Real Lot Shock Northern Northern California Moved Middle Wanted Estate Pace Right Early

Your stereotypical L.A. Persian kids were not working at Sbarro pizza in the mall, but I was. Maz Jobrani

Kids Stereotypical Were Mall Persian Pizza Working Your

I would say that while most Muslims take offense at the portrayal of the Prophet Muhammad in cartoons, they would never resort to violence. It is a minority of extremist Muslims who take such actions, and they do it for political and tactical reasons far beyond just being offended. Maz Jobrani

Political Offended Minority Resort Say Extremist Muslims Would Cartoons Tactical Prophet Take Never Beyond Most Offense Just Being While Far Muhammad Who Reasons Actions Portrayal Violence

One thing about D.C. that's funny to me is that you end up running into famous political figures who you've seen on television who you think are not real until you see them. Maz Jobrani

Coming from L.A. to D.C., I'm always impressed that in D.C., people are doing the things that the people in L.A. are pretending to do. Whenever I'm in D.C., I ask people what they do, and they say, 'I'm with the agency, or I'm with State.' In L.A., I ran into a guy who said, 'I'm working on an audition for a guy who happens to be with an agency.' Maz Jobrani

A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife. Maz Jobrani

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