Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
American Comedian
Born: Oct 2, 1890
Died: Aug 19, 1977
Book Every He Man Me You
Related authors: George Carlin Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
Judge Married Wedding Jury Asked Should
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. Groucho Marx
Me You Before Like Because Hear Heard Stop Story Again
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. Groucho Marx
Judge Anatomy Named Poor Whoever
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx
Me People Care Club Members Like Accepts Belong
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. Groucho Marx
You September Starts Thirty Tells Favourite Hath Something Poem Days Because Actually
Before I speak, I have something important to say. Groucho Marx
Speak Important Before Say Something
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. Groucho Marx
Saw Like Adverse Adverse Conditions Conditions Up Curtain Then Play
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. Groucho Marx
Life Time Myself Soul Wonderful Words Mind First Living Diminution Neither Record Born Concerning First Thing Loses Nor Began Itself The First Thing Which Eternity Depths Everlasting Thing Bring
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. Groucho Marx
Politics Strange Marriage Make Does Bedfellows
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. Groucho Marx
Alimony Horse Hay Like Dead Dead Horse Buying
Women should be obscene and not heard. Groucho Marx
Women Obscene Heard Should
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. Groucho Marx
Good Hate Weather Too London Because Leaving Raining
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. Groucho Marx
People Dance Enough Feel Wives Who
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. Groucho Marx
Mother Would Given Had She Been Children Anything Loved
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. Groucho Marx
Book Laughter Reading Down Someday Picked Until Up Intend Laid Your Moment
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. Groucho Marx
Music Justice Military
Go, and never darken my towels again. Groucho Marx
Never Towels Go Again
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. Groucho Marx
Book Mind Half Everybody Write New Practically Does York New York
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? Groucho Marx
Me Care Posterity About Done Should Why Ever
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. Groucho Marx
Old Year Bet Glad He Got Year-Old Brain Rid Four
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it. Groucho Marx
Me Out Run Find Tail Could Head Make Understand Nor Child Report Why
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