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Bill Burr Quotes
Bill Burr Quotes
Bill Burr
American
Comedian
Born:
Jun 10
,
1968
Comedy
Me
People
Think
Time
You
Related authors:
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
Milton Berle
Mitch Hedberg
Robin Williams
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
W. C. Fields
Did you ever spell a word so bad that your spell check has absolutely no clue what you're trying to spell? What do you end up getting, you end up getting, like, a question mark. You got a million dollars of technology just looking back at you like, 'You got me, buddy. Which is pretty amazing because I have all the words.'
Bill Burr
Me
You
Technology
Words
Amazing
Word
Looking
Looking Back
Mark
Spell
Back
Bad
No Clue
Pretty
Absolutely
Check
Buddy
Like
Because
Got
Dollars
Question
Question Mark
End
Up
Trying
Did
Getting
Just
Just Looking
Which
Clue
Your
Ever
Million
Million Dollars
I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr
Me
You
People
Gemini
Empathetic
Weird
Sadistic
Most
Sort
Off
Person
Where
Loving
Meanest
Really
Thing
I gotta be honest with you. I'm kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
Bill Burr
Jealous
Day
Mom
You
Women
Sometimes
Way
Those
Out
Kind
Angels
Take
Day-Out
Talk
Making
Gotta
Did
Gets
Just
Stop
Where
Your
Dad
Honest
I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
Bill Burr
Lie
Stage
Out
Most
Am
Get
Going
Psycho
Luckily
My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.
Bill Burr
Funny
You
Humor
Hilarious
Favorite
Kind
Observe
Happening
Basically
What happens is when you have a kid, you are a unique human being, so you are going to have a unique experience. No one can really tell you what youre going to feel.
Bill Burr
You
Experience
Human Being
Kid
Tell
No-One
Feel
Going
Human
Being
Happens
Really
Unique
Unique Experience
People focus too much on whether there's a Democrat or a Republican in office. It's not like this guy Kim-Jong Un got into power the second Trump got into power. It's not like he wasn't a problem. It's not like we haven't had warmongers. It's not like corporations haven't been the main influence on what we're doing around the world.
Bill Burr
People
Problem
World
Too Much
Focus
Power
Too
Corporations
UN
Guy
Main
Had
He
Like
Democrat
Around
Got
Doing
Been
Trump
Office
Influence
Whether
Republican
Much
Second
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
Bill Burr
Life
Funny
You
Comedy
My Life
Few
Funny Guy
Way
Though
Able
Guy
Knew
Know
Also
Felt
Few Things
Going
Just
Wanted
Loved
Stand-Up Comedy
Even
Things
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.
Bill Burr
Me
People
Out
TV
TV Show
More
Only
More People
Come
Know
Always
Comic
Get
Going
Being
Show
Stand-Up Comic
Reasons
Even
Shows
You probably need 1/10 of the world's population for us to continue to exist. There's just too many damn people. You have to somehow get us from 7 billion people to... I don't know what the magic number is, but I imagine at some point, that will happen. And I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm making the cut.
Bill Burr
You
People
World
Will
Think
Damn
Too
Some
Magic
About
Somehow
Point
Know
Making
Continue
Exist
Get
Just
Happen
Cut
Us
Billion
Many
Population
Number
Need
Imagine
Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.
Bill Burr
Experience
Drive
Live
Everyone
Out
Just
Place
Should
Fun
Desert
You have to show up at 7 in the morning and be on like it's 9 at night. It's a skill. Some comics run from it, and they hate doing it, but the comics that are pros understand how important it is, and they get good at it.
Bill Burr
Good
Morning
You
Hate
Important
Run
Some
Pros
Like
Understand
How
Comics
Doing
Up
Get
Skill
Show
Night
They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do not disappoint. Walken has this amazing sense of humor, and Pacino is like just a sweetheart of a guy.
Bill Burr
You
Sense Of Humor
Amazing
Heroes
Humor
Sense
Meet
Say
Those
Guy
Guys
Disappoint
Like
Because
Just
Want
Them
Your
Sweetheart
They Say
Two
I think I just say what I'm thinking. And - you know, if people relate to it, they relate to it, but - I really - you know, if you really listen to me, I don't have my finger on any pulse.
Bill Burr
Me
You
People
Think
Thinking
Pulse
Relate
Say
Finger
Know
Any
Listen
Just
Really
I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
Comedy
Stage
Took
About
Small
Crowd
Thursday
Days
Were
Tuesday
Happened
Clubs
Packed
NYC
You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
Bill Burr
Me
You
People
Believe
Living
Bad
See
Come
Comedian
Understand
How
Still
How Much
Doing
Up
Get
Want
Wanted
Loved
Much
I like finding stuff that I suck at and trying to get better. So I'm taking classes, getting myself comfortable in an acting scene. You've got to work out those ticks. For instance, standing up used to be really hard for me. I act much better if I'm sitting down.
Bill Burr
Work
Myself
Me
You
Better
Down
Those
Out
Finding
Classes
Scene
Instance
Taking
Stuff
Like
Comfortable
Got
Up
Get
Trying
Sitting
Getting
Work Out
Much
Really
Act
Acting
Used
Hard
Standing
Standing Up
Suck
Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.
Bill Burr
Amazing
Dave
Working
Show
A plumber doesn't change the way he plumbs when he has a kid. You're a comedian. This is your style.
Bill Burr
You
Change
Style
Way
Kid
Plumber
He
Comedian
Your
I think some people really change when they become a dad. Like, I've changed in different ways. I - but, like, my comedy hasn't changed. And I've also seen people do that where you become this - you become a dad, and then all of a sudden, you're trying to be a role model.
Bill Burr
You
Change
People
Comedy
Some People
Seen
Become
Think
Changed
Ways
Some
Like
Also
Model
Role
Role Model
Trying
Where
Different
Then
Really
Sudden
Dad
Different Ways
When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
Bill Burr
Bad
Knots
Stomach
Breaking
Breaking Bad
Watch
My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who's logged more hours than that guy.
Bill Burr
Work
Parents
Think
Would
Would-Be
Find
Guy
More
Hours
Than
Just
Work Ethic
Ethic
Hard
Works
Dad
Ridiculous
Like most comics, I tried to come up with a sitcom idea that was based around my life. And it didn't work out. But maybe because it didn't work out, that's why I ended up on 'Breaking Bad;' I don't know.
Bill Burr
Life
Work
My Life
Out
Bad
Tried
Idea
Come
Like
Know
Most
Because
Around
Comics
Up
Sitcom
Ended
Maybe
Breaking
Breaking Bad
Work Out
Based
Why
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.
Bill Burr
Work
Me
You
Respect
People
Treat
Comedy
Just Be
Down
Else
Top
Find
See
Someone
Hour
Like
Lean
Alright
Because
Got
Gotta
Coming
Up
Get
Did
Going
Just
Mike
Stand
Stand Up
Even
Now
Harder
Thing
My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I don't like it is when I'm off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
Bill Burr
Time
Day
Half
Mouth
Favorite
Favorite Part
Running
Only
Only Time
Part
Feels
Hour
Like
Off
Then
That's kind of my job in the writer's room. I'm always the guy going, like, 'People wouldn't say that there. They wouldn't say that.' Like, I hate when I watch sitcoms and something crazy happens, and people just kind of go, 'Huh?' and then they just go on.
Bill Burr
Crazy
Hate
People
Job
Say
Kind
Something
Guy
Writer
Like
Always
Go
Sitcoms
Huh
Going
Just
Just Kind
Happens
Room
Then
Watch
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