632 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you're going before you even start. That's a tough audience to surprise, and a tough audience to write for. It's much more competitive now, because the audience is so much more - I want to say 'sophisticated.' Betty White

Today You Tough Joke Before Every Say Plot More Write Sophisticated Know Because Audience Surprise Heard Going Where Want Much Even Now Start Competitive

Yoga in America is a joke. Bikram Choudhury

Joke Yoga America

I always thought of Levittown as a joke. Bill Griffith

Thought Joke Always

I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the dark for two and a half hours and not tell them the joke. Bill Nighy

I am so pathetic with machines in real life, it's not a joke. I'd rather walk, or even run, than take the car out myself. I like to be driven around. Yes, I like fancy cars, and fancy bikes, too. It's my dream to learn how to ride one myself, but for now, I am content being driven around. Bipasha Basu

Life Myself Ride Walk Car Joke Real Life Too Machines Out Run Dream Rather Take Driven Like Learn Content Around How Am Real Yes Than Pathetic Being Fancy Bikes Even Now

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a civil engineer. No joke. I would come home from school and build bridges out of toothpicks and see how much weight they would hold before falling. Bitsie Tulloch

I always make a joke that they transplanted Martina McBride's eyes and put them in my head. Blake Shelton

Eyes Joke Martina Put Head Make Always Them Transplanted

Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke. Bob Newhart

You Gun Joke Tell Martin He Put Forehead His

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too. Bob Saget

The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it. Bob Saget

Saying Nature You Comedy Joke Just Do It Think Say Has-Been About Wrong Around How Been Just Interesting Why

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt. Bobby Farrelly

You Hurt Somebody Joke Too Feel Make Gets Far

That generic outlook of what a 'WWE champion' should be is a joke to me. The casual fan walks in and expects to see a guy in short trunks with abs and a shaven body. I do not believe in that. Bray Wyatt

Me Champion Joke Walks Believe See Guy Outlook Casual Generic WWE Expects Short Fan Should Body

I joke around all the time, 'I'm Asian; I'm really good at math.' Brenda Song

Time Good Joke Around Math Asian Really

I will admit I am a little bit of a line fudger. I will change the line a bit to make it feel better in my mouth. That is something they'll allow you to do on 'Veep' unless it's a particular joke where they're like, 'No, it just sounds better like this.' But with a lot of network shows, the script is law; you cannot change it all. Brian Huskey

You Change Law Better Will Joke Mouth Unless Bit Admit Something Network Allow Feel Particular Like Make Am Sounds Line Lot Just Where Cannot Script Little Little Bit Shows