632 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

In the India I was growing up in, history wasn't really a wise career option. People would joke and say, 'History's okay, but what's your actual job?' I didn't come from a privileged background and couldn't afford to be irresponsible, so I did the pragmatic thing and did a MBA. Amish Tripathi

History Wise People Job Joke Background Say Okay Would India Come Pragmatic Up Privileged Option Afford Did Irresponsible Really Your Growing Growing Up Actual Thing Career

Shaquille and I kind of joke we were the Christopher Columbus of social media. We're kind of out on a boat by ourselves going through these uncharted waters. But it's become more understood, embraced and accepted, and now it's pretty much expected by fans for athletes, leagues and teams to be there. Amy Jo Martin

Fans Social Media Joke Become Christopher Waters Ourselves Out Kind Athletes Embraced Pretty More Uncharted Through Columbus Leagues Accepted Understood Were Expected Going Social Boat Much Teams Media Now

There's always this joke that I say in Israel: people don't really have discussions; they just try to convince the other people that they are wrong or they are right - they just try to impose their opinion on the others. Sometimes I think it's easier to avoid talking about things and just make music. Anat Cohen

Music People Sometimes Try Joke Think Other Others Say Easier About Wrong Make Talking Opinion Always Israel Impose Discussions Just Really Convince Avoid Right Things

I go inside the Octagon for fight. I don't joke, because it's danger. Anderson Silva

Fight Joke Danger Inside Because Go

Louis CK knows that just because a joke is using space as a resource instead of something to be crammed like a hamper, this doesn't mean a story isn't happening. Andrea Seigel

Space Joke Resource Something Instead Like Knows Because Hamper Louis Just Crammed Just Because Happening Story Mean Using

Peas are terrible and a joke food. Annie Murphy

Food Joke Terrible Peas

On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it. Anthony Jeselnik

People Joke Demanding Twitter Would Someone Point Write Tragedy Die Then Certain Certain Point Tweet Thing Started

In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble. Anthony Jeselnik

With every side I've played for, I've always tried to fit in and joke with my team mates while enjoying good times with them on and off the pitch. And that's what's happened with Les Bleus. Antoine Griezmann

I was at Facebook in 2012, during the previous presidential race. The fact that Facebook could easily throw the election by selectively showing a Get Out the Vote reminder in certain counties of a swing state, for example, was a running joke. Antonio Garcia Martinez

Vote Facebook Election Example Joke State Presidential Presidential Race Easily Out Running Fact Previous Could Throw Reminder Counties For Example Get Race Certain Showing Swing

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke. Artie Lange

Joke Anything Apologizing

After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.' Aziz Ansari

Myself You Sometimes Joke Few Say One-Night No Idea About Crowd Absolutely Take Wrong Idea Know Look Obviously Well Talking Although Material Bunch Times After Then Worked Really Hard Hard Look Works Flop Night