632 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

The joke about SAP has always been, it's making '50s German manufacturing methodology, implemented in 1960s software technology, delivered to 1970-style manufacturing organizations, like, it's really - yeah, the incumbency - they are still the lingering hangover from the dot-com crash. Marc Andreessen

Every sexy joke of long ago, every flirtation, is being recalled by some women and revised and re-evaluated as sexual harassment. Frivolous accusations reduce, if not eliminate, not only communication between men and women but any kind of playfulness and banter... Where has the laughter gone? Maryanne Trump Barry

Women Communication Laughter Men Men And Women Long Joke Gone Every Kind Sexual Sexy Some Only Between Reduce Revised Frivolous Accusation Any Being Where Harassment Recalled Eliminate

I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh, and I'm really sarcastic, so it's important that she can take a joke. I think if you are going to be with someone for a while, you really need someone you can let loose with and let go of all the stress of the day. Matt Lanter

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! Mitch Hedberg

Funny Amazing Joke Cloud Top Head Wrong Came Off Why

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. Oliver Herford

Seen Joke Gave Irish

I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human. Rainn Wilson

In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society. Sam Kinison

God Gay You Comedy Space Joke Community Society President Gay Community Gays States OK About Sacred Disaster Forbid Acceptable Cow Up Blowing Space Shuttle Pope Ridicule United United States Last Shuttle

So many guys are so conservative with their hair, and I always joke with all my buddies when they mess with me, and I'll say, 'That's right, keep the same haircut for ten years.' How fun is that? Tom Brady

Me Conservative Joke Hair Say Ten Guys Ten Years Haircut Buddies Mess Always How Years Same Fun Many Keep Right

I thought Twitter was a joke. I really thought it was a gag. I thought it was like National Lampoon or the Onion. Walter Becker

Thought Joke National Twitter Onion Like Gag Really

I always joke that my kids' favorite holiday is Father's Day. They love the way I celebrate the occasion by writing each of them a thank-you letter and a generous check. It's my way of letting them know how much I appreciate the great pleasure and privilege of being their dad. Wayne Dyer

Love Day Great Celebrate Writing Father Joke Way Pleasure Kids Favorite Great Pleasure Generous Check Know Occasion Always How How Much Privilege Being Holiday Them Much Each Dad Letter Letting Appreciate

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl. Afrika Bambaataa

You Joke Lose Your Vinyl

I remember as a boy when the conversation on civil rights was won in the South. I remember a time when one of my friends made a racist joke and another said, 'Hey man, we don't go for that anymore.' Al Gore

Time Man Conversation Rights Remember Made Joke Hey Civil Civil Rights Another Boy Said Go South Won Friends Anymore

Most of us don't think forwarding a racist joke or speaking in an insulting 'comedic' accent is appropriate at the workplace. Unfortunately, for those raised in the toxic culture of conservatism, the sort of mentality that leads government employees to do those things is widespread. Alex Pareene

Government Culture Joke Employees Think Conservatism Appropriate Those Mentality Leads Most Toxic Comedic Accent Sort Insulting Unfortunately Us Speaking Workplace Things Raised Widespread

Songwriters always reminded me of that kid at school who would go around with his guitar, like, 'Yeah, songwritin' man,' looking wistful. That wasn't me - those kinds of people put me off. In the early days, I'd write a bunch of lyrics and almost look at them as a sort of joke, to make the rest of the boys laugh. Alex Turner

Me Man People Guitar School Rest Joke Looking Lyrics Kid Those Laugh Would Kinds Write Songwriters Put Almost Reminded Days Like Look Make Sort Around Boy Always Yeah Go His Off Bunch Them Who Early Early Days

Me and the Rock do look a lot alike, and we're a similar build - that was a joke, by the way. Alex Wolff

Me Joke Build Way Alike Similar Look Rock Lot

It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.' Alexandra Petri

You Joke Think Easier Find Something Ridiculous

I joke that I only play in World Cups. Ali Krieger

World Joke Only Cups World Cups Play

'30 Rock' is probably one of my favorite shows. It's just joke after joke after joke. Alison Brie

Joke Favorite Favorite Shows Rock Just After Shows

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke. Ambrose Bierce

Joke Clever Philistine Pleased Seldom Remark Sharp Call Quoted Noted

Joke Quotes

No more joke quotes