634 Joke Quotes for You to Enjoy

I'm still no good at ball-and-stick games. If I go play golf with the guys, it's intended to be a joke. Neil Peart

Good Joke Guys Still Go Intended Golf Games Play Play Golf

I think music and laughter are the two things that can keep you alive. Someone who is really depressed, tell them a joke, and they may come out of it for even just a moment. Or play them something. Nell Carter

My first joke that ever aired on 'Late Night' was for a list of 'Top 10 Least Popular Summer Camps.' My contribution - 'Camp Tick in beautiful Lyme, Connecticut' - squeaked in at No. 10. Like a trip to Camp Tick, my time at 'Late Night' faded into memory like a short session at a dicey summer camp. Nell Scovell

Beautiful Time Memory Joke First Late Late-Night Summer Summer Camp Top Trip My Time Faded Like Tick Least Camp Camps Contribution List Short Connecticut Popular Ever Night Session

I'm a happy guy. I like to joke around. I'm irreverent. I love my family; I love my son. I was very happy with and proud of the birth of my son. I grew up a lot after he was born. I'm just an easy and happy guy. Neymar

As a comedy writer, I'm always praying for the day I can tell a self-aware/break-the-fourth-wall style of joke. Nicholas Stoller

Day Comedy Joke Style Tell Writer For The Day Always Praying

I found, especially with stand-up, that if a premise works, you can make the joke work. If a premise doesn't work, you can't force it to. Nick Kroll

Work You Joke Force Make Premise Works Found

It's a lot easier, I think, to be an actor in a movie than to spin a joke on a sitcom. Nicole Sullivan

Joke Think Easier Spin Lot Than Sitcom Movie Actor

Me and fellow scouser Toni Duggan are a double act. We are always pre-planning some sort of practical joke. Nikita Parris

Me Joke Some Fellow Practical Sort Always Double Act

If I'm getting on an airplane or anywhere, really, I have a lunch box and stuff. It's a running joke with my friends and family - everyone gives me lunch boxes for Christmas. Nikki Reed

Christmas Family Me Joke Lunch Everyone Airplane Running Gives Stuff Box Boxes Friends Friends And Family Getting Anywhere Really

Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway. Nora Dunn

Thought Joke Laughs Runway Years Years Ago Model Get Anyway Used

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. Norman Wisdom

Joke Fall Easier Tell Never Over Always Just Found

Multiculturalism is a white people joke. Ntozake Shange

People Joke White Multiculturalism

Some people think a boxer is a gloomy guy with this heavy brow who always has to be serious. But why can't you laugh a bit, make a joke? Oleksandr Usyk

You People Some People Joke Think Bit Laugh Some Brow Guy Make Gloomy Boxer Always Heavy Who Serious Why

I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed. Owen Hart

Joke Everyone Hart Out Brother Shadow Bottom Come Squashed Get Getting Going Just Little Little Brother Figured Barrel

I took my daughters to see Plastic Ono Band at the Orpheum in L.A. in 2012. It was an amazing experience because she is such a revolutionary artist. Everybody was like, 'Oh, it's Yoko, it's such a joke.' But it's no joke what she did, visually and musically. It's incredible. Pamela Adlon

Experience Amazing Joke Band Everybody Incredible Took Musically See Daughters Like She Because Amazing Experience Revolutionary Did Artist Oh Plastic

I never knew what basketball was. I started playing on the playground. People used to laugh at me and joke at me because I was so tall and I didn't know the game and couldn't play it. Patrick Ewing

Me Game People Joke Laugh Never Knew Know Because Tall Used Play Started Playground Playing Basketball

I love to play the game, love to be around the rink, and love to joke around with my teammates and have some fun. Patrick Kane

Love Game Joke Teammates Rink Some Around Fun Play

When our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little time together that 'it's really too early to tell' if our marriage will, in fact, succeed. Patrick Pichette

Success Time Together Marriage Will Joke Too Our Spent Kids Tell About Fact Simply Longevity Friends In Fact Little Succeed Asked Really Little Time Early

I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to someone who stops and says, 'Hey let me tell you a joke.' Paul Feig

Love Funny Me You People Joke Funny People Hey Says Tell Someone Weirdness Because Opposed Stops Who Amusing

I've noticed, as a comedy fan, that I really like Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino because when they're funny, they're actually funny. It's not like when other dramatic writers have comedy, and I'm just like, 'Well, that's not funny. Why are you even trying to make a joke here?' Paul Rust

Funny You Comedy Joke Other Thomas Dramatic Anderson Writers Like Well Make Because Quentin Tarantino Tarantino Trying Just Fan Paul Really Noticed Even Why Actually Here

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