368 Comedian Quotes for You to Enjoy

Nobody in this world thinks they're having enough sex. Watch any night on television, or any comedian in a nightclub, and every other joke is about people who aren't getting enough. David Frankel

People World Sex Joke Every Other Enough Television About Having Nobody Comedian Any Getting Who Watch Thinks Night Nightclub

'I Was There Too' talks to people who played non-starring roles in big movies. That means the likes of comedian Jimmy Pardo, who didn't make it to the finished 'Dreamgirls.' Still, he recalls that when an actor is put on hold for a movie, he gets paid for two weeks just for sitting at home waiting to be called. David Hepworth

Home Waiting People Finished Big Too Jimmy Weeks He Put Comedian Likes Make Talks Still Roles Sitting Gets Just Movie Hold Movies Means Paid Who Actor Played Two Two Weeks

I used to have a theory actually that, if you've had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank, you're going to make a lousy comedian. David Steinberg

Good You Marriage Money Good Marriage Bit Had Comedian Make Lousy Going Bank Childhood Little Little Bit Used Theory Good Childhood Actually

When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect. David Steinberg

You Respect Money Comedian Make Lot Get Being Started

I don't have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And I'm willing to risk quite a lot - as a comedian, you're always risking a lot. You're risking failure, especially if you're improvising and going on TV shows trying to make comedy out of thin air. That is quite a risky business. David Walliams

Failure You Business Fear Comedy Air Out TV Willing TV Shows Risk Risking Risky Factor Comedian Well Make Always Lot Trying Going Improvising Quite Quite A Lot Much Shows Thin

Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world. David Walliams

You World Believe Otherwise Would Comedian Most Successful Ricky British

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. Dennis Miller

Comedian Credibility

I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly. Diane Neal

Silly Comedian Been Years

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet. Dick Gregory

Great Me Poet Bit Musician Seeing Like Comedian Really Watching

I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian. Dominic Holland

Think Brutal Environment Comedian Most Always

I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. Dominic Holland

General Wit Comedian Am Hire Professional Novelist Published

There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage. Dominic Holland

Silence Stage Nothing Comedian Audience Loud Quite

Many years ago, I was a young and, dare I say it, very hot new comedian. Maybe even the hottest of all if the now defunct Perrier panel of judges were to be believed. Dominic Holland

Young Panel Say Dare Hot Hottest New Comedian Judges Were Years Years Ago Very Maybe Many Even Now Believed

One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business. Don Rickles

I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits. Donald Glover

Funny Job Nothing Think Everything Comedian Make

The toughest thing for me is doing on-camera stuff as a comedian. Donna Lynne Champlin

Me Toughest Stuff Comedian Doing Thing

Dick Van Dyke was my first idol. He's an amazing physical comedian, like a classic clown, but also very smart and not afraid to show vulnerability. Douglas Wood

Smart Amazing First Clown Van Physical Classic He Like Comedian Also Vulnerability Idol Dick Van Dyke Very Afraid Dyke Show

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show. Drew Carey

Honor Relief Badge Comedian Comic Comic Relief Did Show

My only goal as a comedian was to stomp the life out of the model-minority myth. Eddie Huang

Life Myth Out Only Comedian Goal Stomp

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing. Eddie Izzard

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working. Elayne Boosler

Me You Word Baton East Cities East Coast Minneapolis Bother Never Comedian Household Where Working Coast Popular Rouge Imagined

I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that. Ellen DeGeneres

Love Good You People Big Every Kid Kind Something Part Observing Since Like Comedian Became Audience Got Person Big Part Done Just Really Filled Why Ever Imagine

The documentary 'Certifiably Jonathan' has engrossing moments in it. How can it not? It's got a great subject - the extraordinarily voluble comedian Jonathan Winters, whose constant rush of words can be like a blizzard: beautiful, maddening, exhausting, and finally beautiful again. But it's not a great film. Elvis Mitchell

Beautiful Great Words Extraordinarily Finally Great Film Maddening Constant Rush Winters Jonathan Like Comedian Documentary Got How Blizzard Exhausting Subject Again Moments Film Whose

I was going to be a comedian but then also winning Oscars and directing movies and creating my own charities and saving the world. The more I've let go of that... I see more access to possibly being able to have something like that. Emily Meade

World Own Saving Possibly Charities See Able Something Directing My Own More Winning Like Comedian Also Access Go Going Being Movies Then Creating Let Go Oscars

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