Roseanne Barr Quotes

Roseanne Barr
Roseanne Barr
American Actress
Born: Nov 3, 1952
Because Life Me People Think You
Related authors: Ali Wong Ariana Grande Bette Davis Carol Burnett Lily Tomlin Mae West Marilyn Monroe Teri Garr
I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things. Roseanne Barr
Alone You Singing Accident Stage Other Kind More Had Badly Stuff Like Know Sing Got Tragic Fright Blown Anymore Stage Fright After Banner Spangled Really Sang Full Even Star Things
I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three. Roseanne Barr
You Try Three Prison Think Strikes Out Married Would Only Never California Go Get Get Married Going Again
Comedy is the only hope for humanity. Roseanne Barr
Hope Humanity Comedy Only
Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting. Roseanne Barr
Work You Personality Will Big Tell Perfectionist Going Anyone Which Show
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? Roseanne Barr
Time Good You Anger Good Time Feeling Say Never Hit Festive Children Experts Should Your
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. Roseanne Barr
Man Heart Way Through Chest His Quickest Way
I think I'm hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar - isn't that weird? Roseanne Barr
Myself Think Hysterical Weird Roar Tape Just Watch
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect. Roseanne Barr
Woman People Mother Hell More Most Lot Than Suspect Being
You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it. Roseanne Barr
You Think Tried More Through Points Doing Than Anybody Break Hollywood Successful View
Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head. Roseanne Barr
You Will Nation Sets Attacks Never Head Judaism Bully Itself Patriarchal Patriarchy Which Notice Notion Defend
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. Roseanne Barr
War Hope World Will Military Gays Would Would-Be Running Emphasis Greater Because Just Then Apparel
I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. Roseanne Barr
Me Hate Human Being Every Beneath Everyone Earth Worship Kids Feel Human Being Should
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. Roseanne Barr
Husband Suicide Sign Signed Mutual Pact Agreement
Excuse the mess but we live here. Roseanne Barr
Live Excuse Mess Here
'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking. Roseanne Barr
You Money Power Everyone Complimentary Winning Fails Also Around Just Pizza Hollywood Means
Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor. Roseanne Barr
Bird Bypass Eat Had Since Like California Surgery Unfortunately Gastric
It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't. Roseanne Barr
Hope People Better Inspire Will Job Think Inspired Demand Democrats Get Done Public Really Servant Actually Things
One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa. Roseanne Barr
Money Made First Farm Bought Iowa First Things Show Things
I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty. Roseanne Barr
Say Worst Favor Guilty Return Am
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions. Roseanne Barr
Whatever Think Humorists Solutions Only Supposed Comics Questions Offer Ask
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying. Roseanne Barr
Funny Saying Me Out Tell TV All-Out He Comedian Comedians Himself Were Wanted Subtext Laid Used Dad Watch
I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S. Roseanne Barr
Me Become Politician Think President Uniquely
There is no real third party in America. There's this one party that has two sides to it - the Democratic and Republican side. It's one party that has two heads. Roseanne Barr
Party Side Sides One Party Heads Democratic Real America Republican Two Third
The American people are sick and tired of this 'lesser evil' garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they're in office. Roseanne Barr
Tired People Election Evil Year Garbage Every Sick Sick And Tired Once Evils Both Fed Democrats Office Get American Same Republicans American People Lesser
After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom. Roseanne Barr
Me Johnny Johnny Carson Sitcom Wanted After Turn Hollywood Producers Act Show Who Appearance Tonight Tonight Show
I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice. Roseanne Barr
Me People Opportunity Debate Think Presidential Presidential Race Say Those Evils Obama Guys Given Only Both Take Between Like Comedian Because False American Being Romney Race American People Ask Choice Lesser Serious Two
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