Quotes by Comedians

When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show. Chris Rock

One-Man Doing Show Basically

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Chris Rock

You Live Neighborhood Bad Get Getting While Shot

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House. Chris Rock

College White White House House Make Makes Boy

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. Chris Rock

You Before Properly Clean Cleaner Gets Room

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy. Chris Rock

Comedy Group Verbal Activity

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time. Chris Rock

Time Lie Men Most

Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again. Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? Chris Rock

Love White Almost Like Yeah Being Famous Being Famous

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. Chris Rock

Sports People Black Final States Dominate Population United United States Four

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson. Chris Rock

Business Out Jackson Hang Want Janet Jackson Show Show Business Jesse Jackson

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. Chris Rock

Mother Proper Never Front Curse Either Careful

Hollywood's just not funny. Chris Rock

Funny Just Hollywood

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. Chris Rock

Funny You Yourself Others About Something Only Know

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. Chris Rock

First Cosby He Comedian Because Curse Bill Bill Cosby Exposed

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. Chris Rock

Time Comedy Writer Wanted By The Time

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous. Chris Rock

You People Sometimes Only Parts Because Offer Famous Plays

I live way below my means. Chris Rock

Live Way Means Below

My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars. And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. I'm thinking, 'I've got 45 grand left!' Taxes didn't even come into my equation. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. We live in this baller, spend-money culture. Chris Rock

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. Chris Rock

History School Black First Kids Brooklyn Beach The History Of

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. Chris Rock

Above Hack Overrated Just

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials. Chris Rock

Okay Movies