Quotes by Comedians

People always say to me, 'You're really attractive - in an unusual way.' No one ever just says, 'You're attractive.' Carrot Top
Me You People Way Say Says No-One Attractive Unusual Always Just Really Ever
When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me. Carrot Top
Me Laughed Comedian Friends Going
Comics don't like to see other comics do well. Carrot Top
Other See Like Well Comics
I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college. Carrot Top
College Attack Got Plan Really
I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved. Carrot Top
Think Evolved Kind Over Years
I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny. Carrot Top
Funny Home Family Class School Clown Class Clown Very
Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful. Carrot Top
Beautiful Like Help
My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh. Carrot Top
Jokes People Way Laugh Through Making Fitting Fitting In
People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big. Carrot Top
Time Me People Hair Big About Give Give Me Because Orange Hard Hard Time
I love to shop, especially in retro stores. I have about a million pairs of old-school sports shoes like Adidas, so that's probably my biggest vice. Carrot Top
Love Sports Shoes About Like Retro Shop Stores Vice Biggest Pairs Million
I've always believed that it's important to give something back to the world and community. Carrot Top
World Important Community Back Give Something Always Believed
I would like to be someone like Steve Martin. That's the path I'd like to follow. Carrot Top
Path Would Follow Martin Someone Like Steve Steve Martin
To me, the scariest movie ever made to this day is 'The Exorcist.' It still scares the living hell out of me, and it's because of the fantasy element. It's the exorcism. It's the Devil. It's not a guy breaking into your house trying to torture you or cut your whatever off. Those kinds of movies don't do it for me, and I don't call them horror. Cassandra Peterson
Day Me You Made Devil Whatever Hell Living Those Out Torture Kinds Scares Scariest Guy Horror House Call Because Still Off Exorcism Exorcist Trying Movie Breaking Movies Them Fantasy Cut Your Element Ever
I had this grand idea that Elvira's kind of the Santa Claus of Halloween - at the malls, you'd have an Elvira there. Girls would dress as Elvira just like guys dress as Santa Claus, and it's not the real thing, but they'll pose for pictures, sign autographs. Of course, I couldn't go around to every mall, so we'd have to get more Elviras. Cassandra Peterson
You Halloween Girl Every Sign Kind Would Dress Guys More Had Idea Pictures Like Course Around Real Go Mall Malls Get Just Real Thing Autographs Grand Santa Santa Claus Thing Pose
I knew I would grow up and wear a costume one day, and that's exactly what happened. Cassandra Peterson
Day One Day Would Exactly Wear Exactly What Costume Knew Up Happened Grow Grow Up
I am very, very anti-slasher. Cassandra Peterson
Am Very
I would love to do something like 'Tosh.0,' where I host Internet clips. I did host 'Talk Soup,' which is similar. I love doing that, making fun of video clips on the Internet. Cassandra Peterson
Love Internet Would Similar Something Host Like Talk Making Doing Soup Did Where Which Video Fun
I love people who aren't embarrassed. I'm always embarrassed, so it's always astonishing to me when people aren't like that. Cecily Strong
Love Me People Astonishing Embarrassed Like Always Who
I think women have always been funny. But when Tina Fey became head writer at 'Saturday Night Live,' the culture shifted, and women gained a bigger voice in comedy. It's not as if Hollywood producers are feminists. It's more that Hollywood said, ''Bridesmaids' made us so much money, all we want now is funny women.' Cecily Strong
Funny Culture Women Money Comedy Made Live Think More Voice Writer Head Became Said Always Feminists Shifted Been Tina Tina Fey Fey So Much Money Want Bigger Gained Hollywood Us Much Producers Bridesmaids Now Saturday Saturday Night Saturday Night Live Night
Usually I'll just eat popcorn, but if theaters would sell me goat cheese and garlic with Triscuit crackers, I'd give them all my money. Cecily Strong
Me Money Cheese Would Eat Give Goat Sell Crackers Just Theaters Them Popcorn Garlic
I do Twitter, but I'm still not great on it - I'm not good at writing short little jokes, so my Twitter's not really a jokey thing. Cecily Strong
Good Great Jokes Writing Twitter Still Short Little Really Thing
I like Instagram - I love pictures, I just don't take them very often. Cecily Strong
Love Instagram Take Pictures Like Very Often Just Them
People have confused playing devil's advocate with being intelligent. Cecily Strong
People Confused Devil Advocate Intelligent Being Playing
Food can be mean to me, but I love it anyway. Cecily Strong
Love Food Me Anyway Mean
I'm generally happier and more easy going when it's warm outside. Cecily Strong
Easy More Outside Generally Going Happier Warm
I actually graduated from the Chicago Academy for the Arts. I think John Cusack did as well. Cecily Strong
Think John Academy Well Chicago Did Graduated Arts Actually
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