Quotes by Comedians

At the very least, you must make the Internet free in areas that are poverty-stricken. Without the Internet and access to information, poverty-stricken households will never catch up to households above the poverty line - throwing the African-American community deeper into the stone ages. Byron Allen
You Internet Will Free Poverty Community Must Above Area Throwing Never Poverty Line Catch Make Households Without Access Least Line Up Very Stone African-American African-American Community Information Ages Deeper
I'm not chasing independence, I'm chasing Walt Disney. I'm looking for a large piece of that box-office pie, not a tiny piece of that box-office pie. Byron Allen
Independence Chasing Looking Pie Piece Walt Walt Disney Tiny Disney Large
African-Americans don't need handouts and donations; we can hire ourselves if white corporate America does business with us in a fair and equitable way. Byron Allen
Business White Corporate Corporate America Way Ourselves Fair Does Equitable Hire America Donations Us Need
Al Sharpton is not important. He's nothing more than a black pawn in a very sophisticated white economic chess game. Byron Allen
Game Black Important Nothing White More Economic He Sophisticated Chess Very Than Pawn Al
I am living in a world where I am happy and doing what I love and making others happy. Carlos Mencia
Love Happy World Living Others Making Am Doing Where
I'm afraid of being poor; I'm afraid of living in the projects... I'm afraid of being thought as unsuccessful. Carlos Mencia
Thought Living Projects Unsuccessful Afraid Being Poor
I'm not good looking, but I'm not bad looking. Carlos Mencia
Good Looking Bad Good-Looking
I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers. Carlos Mencia
Brothers Sisters
When I was a kid, I was in love with one of the 'Charlie's Angels.' I told my dad, 'I'm going to marry somebody like Cheryl Ladd.' My dad said, 'You're not that good-looking, mijo. You're going to have to make a lot of money if that's what you want.' I went, 'Well, I want that, so I'm going to make money.' Carlos Mencia
Love You Money Somebody Kid Marry Charlie Angels Good-Looking Like Well Make Said Lot Going Want Dad
I don't think Latino; I think like me. If that happens to be Latino, then I guess that's me. But it doesn't affect my comedy in any way. Carlos Mencia
Me Comedy Think Guess Way Latino Like Affect Any Happens Then
It's not hard to lose weight. Carlos Mencia
Lose Weight Hard
When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do. Carlos Mencia
Me Comedy Community Had Lot Reflecting Turned
The fact that so many comics were waiting to jump on the bandwagon of hate toward me - what is it about me that engages this kind of behavior? I began to see it: My cockiness, my lack of hanging out with other comics. A lot of that wasn't my fault. Carlos Mencia
Me Waiting Hate Fault Behavior Other Out Kind See About Fact Toward Comics Were Lot Began Jump Bandwagon Lack Hanging Many
You know what, I stopped doing 'Mind of Mencia' because it got hard, and there was a lot of fighting, and it was just time to move on. Carlos Mencia
Time You Mind Move On Fighting Know Because Got Doing Lot Move Just Stopped Hard
The United States of America on our worst day is better than any other country on their best day. Period. End of story. Carlos Mencia
Best Day Better Country Other Our States Worst Period End Than America Any Any Other Country Story United United States United States Of America
When somebody says that a comic steals jokes, it's the ultimate betrayal of comedy. Carlos Mencia
Jokes Comedy Somebody Says Betrayal Steals Comic Ultimate
Ten comics can say the same joke, and I'm the one who gets called a thief. Carlos Mencia
Joke Thief Say Ten Comics Same Gets Who
I am a sponge. I don't write things down. Carlos Mencia
Down Write Sponge Am Things
Acting is reacting. That's when acting is great - when you say something, somebody said something, they make a face, they pose, they use something physical, then you react to that, then they react to you. Carlos Mencia
Great You Face Somebody Say Physical Something React Reacting Make Said Then Acting Use Pose
I get really nervous at auditions. I know how to make people laugh, but auditions just really make me nervous. Carlos Mencia
Me People Nervous Laugh Know Make How Auditions Get Just Really
When I tell a joke, I immediately know whether it's funny or not. Carlos Mencia
Funny Joke Immediately Tell Know Whether
The beauty of not growing up middle class is that you don't think like the middle class. You don't have anything to protect, you know what I mean? Carlos Mencia
You Class Beauty Think Like Know Protect Up Middle Middle Class Anything Mean Growing Growing Up
I grew up being very patriotic. My parents really love this country. A big part of what they love is freedom of speech... I'm fearless because aren't we supposed to be able to speak our mind? Carlos Mencia
Love Freedom Love Is Speak Mind Parents Freedom Of Speech Country Big Our Able Fearless Part Supposed Because Up Very Big Part Being Grew Patriotic Really Speech
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair. Carlos Mencia
Me You Jokes Black Joke Unfair Think Dare Telling Totally Something Guy He Soon Nobody Like Calls Redneck Does How Wants Might Jeff Many
I had one guy say, 'I watched your show and didn't agree with what you said.' And I'm like, 'It's a joke. How could you not agree? I can understand you saying it's not funny.' But it's like my going onstage and doing a knock-knock and somebody going, 'I disagree. There's no door here.' Carlos Mencia
Funny Saying You Disagree Somebody Joke Say Guy Could Onstage Had Like Understand Said How Doing Going Door Your Show Agree Watched Here
I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year. Carlos Mencia
Year Weeks Comedian Years Worked
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