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Jeff Garlin Quotes
Jeff Garlin Quotes
Jeff Garlin
American
Comedian
Born:
Jun 5
,
1962
Being
Doing
Funny
Me
Myself
You
Related authors:
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
Milton Berle
Mitch Hedberg
Robin Williams
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
W. C. Fields
There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.
Jeff Garlin
Funny
You
People
Treat
Funny People
Laugh
Only
Superpower
True
Make
Human
Being
Human Beings
Being Funny
Them
Beings
Amongst
Differently
The only thing that I demand of the audience is that they listen to what I'm saying. Other than that, they owe me nothing. They don't owe me a thing.
Jeff Garlin
Saying
Me
Nothing
Other
Only
Demand
Audience
Than
Owe
Listen
The Only Thing
Thing
My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate.
Jeff Garlin
Saying
Parents
Wildly
Kids
Come
Always
Doing
Just
Soccer
Inappropriate
Games
Who
Baseball
Things
Played
Basketball
For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey.
Jeff Garlin
Me
More
Chess
Than
Hockey
Comparable
Baseball
Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains.
Jeff Garlin
Challenges
Mountains
Climb
Go
Want
Challenged
Why
I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David.
Jeff Garlin
Funny
Totally
David
Comfortable
Being
Larry
I like independent movies, documentaries. There's not a lot of movies that are commercially made that I dig.
Jeff Garlin
Made
Dig
Independent
Independent Movies
Like
Documentaries
Lot
Commercially
Movies
I've avoided doing network shows because I don't think they're true to real families.
Jeff Garlin
Think
Network
True
Because
Real
Doing
Families
Avoided
Shows
I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting.
Jeff Garlin
Conversation
People
Plugging
Minutes
Per
Like
Liked
Just
Being
Interesting
Show
Moment
Things
Tonight
Tonight Show
As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.
Jeff Garlin
You
Money
Rich
Something
Individual
Remotely
Doing
Get
Even
I have the bigger iPad, but the Mini is the best. It just seems perfect. The old one seems so big and heavy. I like simple and clean.
Jeff Garlin
Best
Simple
Old
Big
Mini
Seems
Clean
Perfect
Like
iPad
Just
Heavy
Bigger
Old One
Parents have got to chill out. Let your kid eat dirt - they're gonna be fine!
Jeff Garlin
Chill
Parents
Kid
Out
Fine
Eat
Dirt
Got
Chill Out
Gonna
Your
Directing is really my favorite thing to do, but if I never directed again, I'd be okay if all the work I did was good.
Jeff Garlin
Work
Good
Okay
Favorite
Favorite Thing
Directed
Directing
Never
Did
Again
Really
Thing
I don't care what I do - act, stand-up, write, direct - it doesn't matter as long as I'm being creative and it's good work.
Jeff Garlin
Work
Good
Creative
Matter
Care
Long
Good Work
Direct
Write
Being
Act
In my stand-up, I generally improvise from an outline.
Jeff Garlin
Improvise
Outline
Generally
Certainly early on, I kind of modeled myself after Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I would imitate them sometimes.
Jeff Garlin
Myself
Sometimes
Imitate
Kind
Would
Martin
Steve
Steve Martin
Modeled
After
Them
Bill
Bill Murray
Certainly
Early
I'm from Chicago and it's a huge influence on me.
Jeff Garlin
Me
Chicago
Huge
Huge Influence
Influence
I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.
Jeff Garlin
Funny
You
Comedy
Just Be
Analyze
Boring
Never
Stuff
Because
Makes
Just
Stop
Being
Either
Being Funny
Who
First off, I don't do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don't care how much I weigh.
Jeff Garlin
Comedy
Care
First
Honestly
Secondly
Would
About
Weigh
Talk
Always
How
How Much
Off
Being
Much
Based
Fat
I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.
Jeff Garlin
Myself
Better
About
Feel
Comfortable
Felt
Fit
Very
Heavier
Being
Much
When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't.
Jeff Garlin
You
Director
Comedy
Care
Feeling
Bad
See
About
Trying
Pathos
Romantic
Romantic Comedy
Cannot
Either
Script
Them
Warmth
Create
Actor
No more Jeff Garlin quotes
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