18 Billy Connolly Quotes for You to Enjoy

Billy Connolly

Scottish Comedian

Born: Nov 24, 1942

Always Go Me People Think You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on. Billy Connolly

Alone Man Trust Try Tea Never Left Who

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little. Billy Connolly

You People Wonderful Speak World Citizen Some People Think Way Some Pretty Delightful Badly Like Just Want Little Themselves

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there. Billy Connolly

Algebra Never Know Likely Learn Go Should Why

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? Billy Connolly

First He Name Come First Name How Mexican Jesus Jew

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day. Billy Connolly

Life Day Me You Every Day People Car Drive Become Clothes Live Every Changes Type Back Once Kind Would Would-Be Wear Life Changes Mystery Like Know Talk House Go Where Successful Successful People Your Now

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. Billy Connolly

Me Pet Parents Tell Take Department Used Zoo

I don't aim to offend. Billy Connolly

Aim Offend

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time. Billy Connolly

Time You People Speak Hide Dark Cowardice Sit Hiding Easy Up Get Microphone Front Want Act Shout Waste

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days. Billy Connolly

Love Every Angeles Days Los Los Angeles Itself Two

I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything. Billy Connolly

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head? Billy Connolly

You Mother Tell Drink Never Head Empty Did Your

I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue. Billy Connolly

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying. Billy Connolly

Saying You People Arch Audience Always Hear Behind

Billy Connolly Quotes

No more Billy Connolly quotes