Joke Quotes

One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny. Bryan White
Funny Time Me Somebody Joke One Time Marry Dress Pretty Wedding Never Knew She Up Asked Serious Her
I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that having a baby made my career. Busy Philipps
Made Joke Before Baby Kid Having Only Having A Baby Had Nobody Became Because Celebrity Pregnant Agent Cared Career
Somebody would think I was trying to get favored treatment because my ancestors had the name Moon. And that's a joke. Buzz Aldrin
Moon Somebody Joke Think Ancestors Favored Would Had Name Because Get Trying Treatment
I would kill to be on 'Dexter,' and I would double kill to be on 'True Blood.' I would pay them to let me come be a vampire or a vampire victim. No joke! Callie Thorne
Me Joke Victim Pay Vampire Would True True Blood Come Dexter Blood Them Double
Every morning, I would actually look at the obituaries before I had breakfast. And as a joke I said if I was not in it, I would have the breakfast. Carl Reiner
Morning Joke Before Breakfast Every Would Obituaries Had Look Said Actually
It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke. Carla Bley
Today Political Joke Unless Would Would-Be About Get Anything Really Hard Serious
Ten comics can say the same joke, and I'm the one who gets called a thief. Carlos Mencia
Joke Thief Say Ten Comics Same Gets Who
When I tell a joke, I immediately know whether it's funny or not. Carlos Mencia
Funny Joke Immediately Tell Know Whether
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair. Carlos Mencia
Me You Jokes Black Joke Unfair Think Dare Telling Totally Something Guy He Soon Nobody Like Calls Redneck Does How Wants Might Jeff Many
I had one guy say, 'I watched your show and didn't agree with what you said.' And I'm like, 'It's a joke. How could you not agree? I can understand you saying it's not funny.' But it's like my going onstage and doing a knock-knock and somebody going, 'I disagree. There's no door here.' Carlos Mencia
Funny Saying You Disagree Somebody Joke Say Guy Could Onstage Had Like Understand Said How Doing Going Door Your Show Agree Watched Here
You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there's a good, honest, honorable reason for telling it. Carlos Mencia
Good You Joke Down Honorable Telling Dirtiest Take Head Break Craziest Reason Why Honest
I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it. Carlos Mencia
Funny Family Me Darkness Wife Will Thought Joke Think Members Some About Make Doing Family Members Any Mean Then Really Cool
I have Bob Dylan lyrics on my ribs. I'm a diehard Dylan fan, and my dad and I joke that if I ever met him, I'd have him sign his name right under my tattoo and then I'd run to the parlor to get his signature tattooed. Carly Chaikin
Joke Met Lyrics Sign Signature Run Parlor Name Him His Get Diehard Tattoo Tattooed Fan Dylan Ribs Bob Bob Dylan Then Dad Ever Right
I can joke around and say I look and do the best, but honestly, I just feel like, whatever situation I'm in, I want to do the best at it and keep improving. Carmella
Best Joke Whatever Situation Honestly Say Feel Like Look Around Improving Just Want Keep
My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it.' Carol Leifer
Father Joke Say Out Kind Guy Throw Always Got Subject Any
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about. Caroline Rhea
Judge Joke Extra Everybody Everything OK One Thing Easy Some About Weight Feels The One Thing Reason Thing
I think there's a lot of wonderful comics that leave you hanging in a state of apprehension or anxiety before alleviating that tension with a joke. Carrie Brownstein
You Wonderful Anxiety Joke Before Think Apprehension State Alleviating Tension Leave Comics Lot Hanging
I think Noah Hawley's writing is hilarious, and I love a good dark joke. Carrie Coon
Love Good Writing Dark Joke Hilarious Think Noah
In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?' Carrot Top
Funny Good You Joke Live Laugh Bad Scene No-One Allowed Since Know Reactions Left Get Done Movie Anything Whether Movies Asking Second
Writing comedy is an exposing thing because you're putting yourself on the line with every joke you write, and although you can't second-guess an audience, if you want to be successful, you have to write stuff people like. Catherine Tate
You Yourself People Writing Comedy Joke Every Second-Guess Write Putting Stuff Like Although Because Audience Line Want Successful Exposing Thing
Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women's movement that liberated us, however. Cathleen Schine
Age Women Joke Liberated Coming Coming Of Age However Were Movement Sixties Us Many
There was a time when I didn't like myself at all. I thought I was a cruel joke. But now I've come to realise that maybe I am not cute, but I am beautiful. CeeLo Green
Beautiful Time Myself Thought Joke Cute Cruel Come Like Am Maybe Realise Now
Sometimes, at parties, people demand I tell a joke. It's like pointing a gun at my feet and telling me to dance. Celia Rivenbark
Me People Sometimes Dance Gun Joke Tell Telling Pointing Demand Feet Like Parties
There's so much positivity in the world and your day-to-day life that to go as far as to say that you hate something or you wish it didn't exist and all the bad things in the world happen to you and only you, it's a joke. It's not real to have that much hate in your heart. Chance The Rapper
Life You Heart Hate World Joke Bad Things Wish Positivity Say Bad Something Only Day-To-Day Day-To-Day Life Real Go Exist As Far As Happen Far Much Your Things
There's always been a quiet conversation and joke that if you're not hard, if you're not from impoverished neighborhoods, if you're not certain constructs of a black stereotype, then you not black. Chance The Rapper
You Conversation Black Joke Neighborhoods Constructs Stereotype Always Been Impoverished Quiet Then Certain Hard
We honestly shouldn't be paying attention to nothing Kanye West says until he actually goes out there and gets the help we all think he needs. That's what keeps these stigmas about mental health and everything going - we act like it's a joke. Charlamagne tha God
Health Needs Mental Health Joke Nothing Think Honestly Everything Says Out About Mental He Attention Like Until West Goes Gets Going Act Kanye Kanye West Paying Help Keeps Actually
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